Monday, April 21, 2014
@ 7:27 AM
It's like you are slowly melting my heart.
It will never be as soft, or as loving and caring as it used to be, and it still hurts me to have met you while I am in this state, but it's getting there.
It's getting there, and you make me feel a sense of hope that I have not felt in years.
You do love me.
Love has been something I've been avoiding for what feels like forever, and even the slightest idea of it will make me tremble in fear. Love has become a figure of threat and ominous peril ever since that terrible incident, and every time anyone from that time forward would bluntly state that they loved me, I would cry. I would cry in disbelief, as I was told I was a person who could never be loved, and I would cry from fear. But with you, it is different.
You haven't given up on me, and it's been almost a year. I'm the most difficult than I ever have been. I have deliberately shut you out, been completely unreasonable, and I have been, for a lack of a better term, a complete bitch at times, yet you put up with me—but why? I've always wondered. I'm nothing special, nor am I someone good enough to be placed upon a pedestal, yet you view me in a light that no one has ever placed me under; you look at me with kindness and love.
You are thawing my vast and cold wasteland of a heart, into one that is blooming for you.
You do love me. I believe it now, and I'm so terribly sorry that I haven't been able to see it sooner.