Tuesday, May 29, 2012 @ 10:36 PM

I hate you as a person, but I really, truly, did love all the feelings you made me feel. I miss them. So much.

Monday, May 28, 2012 @ 12:01 AM

There are numerous hints that lead to the answer that I'd prefer, but then again things aren't always what they seem.

Sunday, May 27, 2012 @ 11:53 PM

How are you able to tell when it's safe to start "liking" someone? Your heart wants it, yet the mind holds your heart from drifting any further. You should never think with your heart but there's always a tinge of ache that grows from within when it doesn't get what it wants.

What are you supposed to do?

What am I supposed to do.

Saturday, May 26, 2012 @ 1:29 PM

I'm not sure where my feelings are taking me.

Thursday, May 24, 2012 @ 5:59 PM

Wednesday, May 23, 2012 @ 4:00 PM

I'm not into physical flirting.

If you'd like to win my heart, captivate me with your words, grab my attention with the things you say. Make me laugh with witty jokes, make me smile with true compliments, and go in depth about yourself. Tell me what's on your mind, who you perceive yourself to be, and what path you're headed. Capture my attention with charming words and humor. Steal the spotlight.

There is nothing more appealing than a boy that knows his way with words.

@ 4:00 PM

Only trust someone who can see these three things in you: The sorrow behind your smile, the love behind your anger, and the reason behind your silence.

Monday, May 21, 2012 @ 12:18 PM

Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having.

Saturday, May 19, 2012 @ 10:18 PM

Less productive than usual today.

Friday, May 18, 2012 @ 7:06 AM

Indifference is worse than hatred.

Thursday, May 17, 2012 @ 2:44 PM

I'm learning to become independent. For so long I had an immovable mindset that forced myself to believe that it was only possible to achieve happiness with the company of a significant other. The reliance upon another person is highly unnecessary yet I deluded myself into thinking that I needed to be with somebody to sustain happiness. To be content. This route of thinking had me fall through evident truth that laid right before my eyes. The times where I thought I was in love was filled with lies, every desperate action was run by my unreasonable desire to find love. Love is nowhere close to what I've experienced, and the longing for dependence set myself up for failure. I was digging my own grave by allowing my emotions to sway and be manipulated. It's foolish to hang yourself on somebody who you consider to be your loved one. It's even more foolish to sacrifice any more than you receive.

Being alone. I used to think that would bring the end to my happiness. That was merely another lie. The continuous routine of becoming attached, abandoning, attachment, abandonment, and so on, grew into an extensive habit. This makes me realize how foolish yet mutinous I was for risking so much, so easily. With much time to myself, I've become aware of my surroundings and what they have to offer. I've learned to appreciate time with lasting friends, and time itself. Freedom was obtained as an individual, as I was no longer bound to the complexity of a relationship. Barriers that prevented my own good were lifted, walls fell. I'm replacing my naive characteristics with knowledge I've accumulated through my failures.

There will always be a spot remained empty within my heart for somebody to step in, but it's no longer open to a wide range. I won't go searching. I've sought and was left with shit, thinking I've discovered treasure. It is only now that I'm able to distinguish an imitation from a real jewel, I've learned the distinction between the truth and what seems to be true. Things that are meant to be will happen despite how complex and distant it may be, nothing will be forced, and it will come naturally.

I'm finally maturing.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012 @ 10:19 PM

It's as if all that's happened, never actually occurred. It feels like a dream that I'm unable to vaguely recall. An uncommon fairy tale with a bad ending.

Monday, May 14, 2012 @ 12:48 AM

There are a lot of factors that contribute to the reasons why I'm not very fond of specific personalities which holds me back from associating with certain types of people.

I get disappointed too easily with the actions they do unconsciously or their past. Or even their future plans.

I hate discovering that they're a bit tainted when I expected innocence.

Sunday, May 13, 2012 @ 1:36 PM

So much to do this summer. I can't wait.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012 @ 6:17 PM

No one knows me. No one takes the time to look past my outer shell, no one makes the effort to explore my mind to give me the opportunity to share my thoughts.

No one will.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012 @ 11:26 PM

The word forever is tossed around as if it means nothing.

Just like the word love.

@ 1:10 AM

Monday, May 7, 2012 @ 6:45 PM

I enjoy getting to know people. When you step into that phase where you're constantly interested in what they have to say, who they are, and what they do. It's the time period between friends and strangers, where it's not really on either side but more in the middle. You feel as if you can spit out a trillion words and listen for days while having a firm grip on your curiosity about them.

It's also the phase where you learn whether or not they're the right type of friend for you.

@ 6:15 PM

And I wonder if it’s better to be completely apathetic and blank rather than filled with complex emotions that are as frail as the clouds. Always changing, always moving, always being affected by the slightest blow of wind.

Sunday, May 6, 2012 @ 9:25 PM

I’ve noticed that a lot of people out there are really without substance. Even though i want to talk to people, there’s nothing for us to talk about besides the usual conversation of how they’re doing and the sort. It’s not like I’d spill all my problems out to a stranger, but it’s nice to know that you can do that to someone, rather than feeling like you can’t tell them anything at all. People are like paper, it’s like they can only hold so much material on it’s sides and nothing more. When did they become so dense, so empty, like ghosts of people wearing nothing other than smiling masks. I just want to talk to someone, but no one seems to be able to.

source: ikilledalaska

@ 4:23 PM

I know.

I know.

Stop mentioning things that I already know. Things that I've known for awhile now.

I know that I could have done better. I know that I can do better. I know that I have failed, you don't need to shove it in my face one more time. There's no need for you guys to constantly bring up reminders of my short comings, my flaws, and my losses. I'm fully aware of my own mistakes and all the things I could have accomplished. Mom, dad, you both speak words that cut deep into my heart thinking those are words of motivation, when they come to me as words of disappointment. Indirect messages that imply how disappointed you are in me yet you don't want to be bold about it to spare a young one's heart. Yet I already know. I can see clearly through those words.

Saturday, May 5, 2012 @ 2:02 PM

@ 10:44 AM

I'm much obliged to the few friends I have that understand the depths of my heart.

@ 10:23 AM

I will admit that there are still some things that hit the core of my heart, some so strong to create a painful sensation as if I've been punched straight into my chest. After 3 months, memories are no longer a problem. I'm quite surprised at the rate of my recovery and how fast I'm forgetting memories I thought that would afflict me until the end of time. Yet there are times where I fall, especially when I'm going about my daily activities, whether it be beyond the comfort of my home or inside it, as I pass by things that arouse the emotions I wish to condone. All I long for now is to feel nothing, be unaffected by everything relating to the past, and to forget. Simply forget.

Friday, May 4, 2012 @ 11:50 PM

You think because he doesn’t love you that you are worthless. You think that because he doesn’t want you anymore that he is right — that his judgement and opinion of you are correct. If he throws you out, then you are garbage. You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him. Don’t. It’s a bad word, ‘belong.’ Especially when you put it with somebody you love. Love shouldn’t be like that. Did you ever see the way the clouds love a mountain? They circle all around it; sometimes you can’t even see the mountain for the clouds. But you know what? You go up top and what do you see? His head. The clouds never cover the head. His head pokes through, because the clouds let him; they don’t wrap him up. They let him keep his head up high, free, with nothing to hide him or bind him. You can’t own a human being. You can’t lose what you don’t own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don’t, do you? And neither does he. You’re turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can’t value you more than you value yourself.

— Toni Morrison

Wednesday, May 2, 2012 @ 11:16 PM

So overjoyed that my best friend is happy. Finally.

@ 2:41 PM

After awhile of thinking, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not actually depressed,

I'm just fucking bored.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012 @ 8:16 PM

I guess being independent won't be that bad.