Sunday, June 27, 2010 @ 10:21 PM

I have to tell you. I really wish you would STOP BEING A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG/DICK. I'm sensitive towards your shit, you know that. If you're going to use that knowledge you have against me then shut the fuck up. Don't even talk to me at all.

@ 8:29 PM

Chatroulette is the funniest fucking thing on Earth.

@ 12:53 AM

Jsun. says:
*dude i totally just owned this mosquito
*bitch ass
- myu♥alan says:
*LOL
*you're so cool.. seriously.
*LOL.
Jsun. says:
*...
*LOL.


    -Evan Almighty       says:
*hello faggot.
- myu♥alan says:
*i've been awake for over 30 hours, HEHE.
-Evan Almighty says:
*i know i was there with you

^ This just proves how fucking creepy you are.

Saturday, June 26, 2010 @ 9:27 AM

Let's all be honest here.
@ 9:24 AM

You're a hypocrite. I'm a hypocrite.
We're liars.
We're all cheaters.
We all hate.
We all fail.
None of us are perfect.

I am fucking insane.
@ 9:16 AM

I haven't slept for 24 hours and I went jogging this morning.
I'm not tired now but I know I'll be dead in about 2 hours. Hehe.

@ 7:16 AM

Just pulled an all nighter with Monica and Jason, sort of.. LOL.
It was fun.

I haven't had that much fun online in a long time.

@ 5:41 AM

1. My ‘ex’ and me :

Pretend each other don’t exist. Kinda.

2. I’m listening to :

Birds chirping outside my window at almost 6am.

3. Maybe I should :

Go the fuck to sleep before I die tomorrow.

4. I love :

Alan.

5. My best friends :

Are irreplaceable.

6. I don’t understand :

People and myself.

7. I lost my respect for :

Whores and flirts.

8. I last ate :

Rice.

9. Someday :

I’ll get the fuck out of this house and be truly happy with life.

10. I will always be :

Thinking about shit.

11. Love seems :

Hard and complicated.

12. I never want to lose :

The people close to me. (People that mean a lot.)

13. My MySpace is :

Retarded.

14. I get annoyed when :

People act overly immature and don't know when to get serious.

15. Parties :

Are fun?

16. Today I :

Am going to die for having one hour of sleep.

17. I wish :

I was carefree and nothing bothered me.

18. I regret :

Meeting some people.

@ 3:50 AM

4 AM
HELP ME GO TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
Gotta get up at 7 tomorrow.

@ 1:14 AM

I kinda wish you would grow up..
Just a little bit.
And realize life isn't just fun and games.

@ 1:13 AM

Lately, I've been typing shit like ':)' and 'LOL' when I'm not even happy.
I haven't been smiling a lot.
My heart's feeling a bit heavy.

@ 12:24 AM

I wish I loved myself and had extremely high self esteem.

Friday, June 25, 2010 @ 8:34 PM



Shit's funny.

I'm sorry.
@ 8:20 PM

I'm sorry I'm being such a pain in the ass. I shouldn't act this way, but I can't help myself. It's not like I want to feel this way. You probably don't understand. I hope you just stay with me until the end even if I'm being annoying and shit. Because I know this feeling won't last forever.

Insecurity.
@ 8:05 PM

"I'm not going to be insecure.
I'm not going to be insecure.
I'm not going to be insecure."

Shit, too late, I already am.

@ 5:47 PM

I hate how you leave without saying a single word.

So I'm being pretty damn patient
@ 4:12 PM

Well I'm TRYING TO BE PATIENT, ANYWAYS.

And I swear to GOD, if I hear one more fucking shit about you flirting, I'm gonna cut someone.

@ 10:34 AM

You're so fucking gay.
Why don't you just shut the fuck up.
I don't want to hear it.

@ 9:18 AM

I really hate it when people abuse the word, 'love'. Especially when it is used in the phrase, 'I love you'.

@ 9:14 AM

I still feel like shit.

Thursday, June 24, 2010 @ 9:47 PM

I fucking hate today.

My God, what in the world are you doing..
@ 9:30 PM

Aren't you supposed to make me feel better? You're supposed to keep trying until I'm okay again.

But instead you've just given up on me. You don't 'care'.
And you leave without saying a word.
Thanks..

It's annoying as fuck when
@ 7:55 PM

1) People ask me 'What's up' because unless I know you REAL, REAL well, my answer will always be 'Nothing much, you?'
2) When 10 billion people come to me and tell me, 'I'M BORED.' What the fuck do you expect me to do? Get the fuck out. It pisses me off especially when those people don't even talk to me regularly, and when they have nothing to do or no one talk to, they come to me. Fuck off.
3) When people lie about being happy. Hello, I'm not fucking blind, it's obvious you're miserable.

@ 5:37 PM

You said you'll change. You promised. Break that promise and you'll break my heart.

@ 5:33 PM



HI, you better listen to this.

@ 5:23 PM

I never thought you would do such a thing.
God I'm disappointed.

Who am I supposed to believe?
@ 5:14 PM

You? Or the ten of them?

@ 3:16 PM

I MISS YOU, okay?
I miss you.

Did I just make a huge mistake?
@ 3:08 PM

I don't know. I don't know anything. I feel like I lost something important. I feel like shit. What the fuck do I even want? Why do I feel this sad? I thought I was going to be perfectly fine, I finally got the chance to get what I thought I wanted for the last 3~4 months. What if I'm chasing for the wrong thing? What if I fuck up again? What if..

Fucking awkward shit.
@ 2:42 PM

I hate the awkwardness between me and you.
I mean it's normal I guess but I HATE IT.
Why can't we act like we did before? Seriously? Is it that hard?

I always think I'm going to be fine
@ 2:38 PM

and I'm wrong 99% of the time.

Ugh.

@ 11:13 AM

Fuuuuuuuuck.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010 @ 7:31 PM

Stupid people are stupid.
People fucking piss me off.

What the hell?
@ 7:09 PM

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
K whatever. I'm not sad.
Fuck this.

@ 6:00 PM

@ 5:53 PM

@ 5:49 PM

Okay seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me, LOL.
I was so fucking pissed at you.
And I've totally forgotten about that while I was talking to you.
.. Ugh.

@ 5:39 PM

It said we could be a heavenly couple if you would COMMIT to the relationship. If you can't, then it's as good as dead.

Commitment is req.

I keep saying shit
@ 5:34 PM

Then changing my mind. I am so incredibly fucking indecisive. I fucking hate that about myself. How one moment, I want this and I want something else the next.

I thought I could do it. I thought I made up my mind. I thought I could do the things I said I would do. I thought, I thought, I thought.

I'm so foolish.

Doing this, saying shit, only makes things worse for me in the end. You taught me that.

I'm ruining the chances I have, myself. I'm ruining everything myself.

I fuck my own life up.

Did you lose feelings for me?
@ 5:33 PM

Please don't. Please.

Don't let me go.

@ 5:31 PM

You'll regret it.
I loved you for everything you are.
Regardless of your failures.
You threw me away.
I know the reason why.
You can't lie to me.
You're going back to the life of hopping from one girl to the next.
I hope you like that.
You lied to me.
Telling me you were so happy to end that life.
I was your first love.
But first love never lasts.
The person always tosses their first love away.
Don't worry, you'll realize it in time that you fucked up.
Big time.
I can do better than you.
I know I can.
And I will.

(via unlimited-paradise)

@ 5:25 PM

I keep running back to you.
No matter how many times I've told myself I'm never going to speak to you ever again.

@ 4:51 PM

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE INSECURE ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP, UGH.

I don't want to go through the same fucking shit, AGAIN.

@ 4:50 PM

Dean says:
*the longer you leave it ther harder it will be
*o_o
*/pedo
*LOLOL
- myu♥alan says:
*maybe i should give him another chance
*and how's that pedo
*LOL..
Dean says:
*i said longer and harder in a sentence
*dw
*LOL
*im so immature

Stop. Just stop.
@ 4:27 PM

I know you're the flirtatious type. I know you like flirting. I know you. I think..

I wasn't surprised when I heard things from people. Because you did the same to me when you were with her. But I never thought you would do the same to me. I didn't think you would flirt when you were with me. I guess I was wrong. I just thought things would be different.

I was chill with you being with another girl, spending time with her (probably more than you have ever spent time with me on a game) and all that, because I trusted you.

Did I really have to hear this from another person? Why couldn't you tell me what you guys say to each other..?

Aren't I supposed to be the only person you say certain things to?

Am I boring you? Am I not enough? Is she that great?
Those are the only reasons I can think of to why you're doing this.

If you had a conscience, you would stop, right now.

You would stop leading that fucking 10 year old on because you're making her fall for you. I don't want to get involved in a love triangle here. I'm not going to go through that shit. I'm sorry, I have a very low tolerance span for bullshit.

Please, don't disappoint me.

"*he'll be like, "You're so amazing" to her, and he'll be like, "___ IS MINE D<" and whatever.
*And it's like, "C'mon dude. D<"
& she doesn't want me to tell you or she'll think you'll rage at her. LOL D:"

- ANONYMOUS.

Hey, I know you could care LESS about a person like me,
@ 4:21 PM

But, I really want to talk to you.
Like, I miss talking to you. No fucking homo.
And I know I fucked everything up between us, but I'd like to start over.
I mean, we weren't that close, but it was pretty nice having conversations with you.

Just sayin'.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010 @ 5:30 PM

Is it normal to feel this lonely?

@ 10:48 AM

Wouldn't it be amazing if you met a guy that had the fucking balls to call you up and confess his feelings for you and ask you to take him back again?

When You're Gone
@ 10:42 AM

I always needed time on my own, I never thought I'd need you there when I cry. And the days feel like years when I'm alone, and the bed where you lie, has made up on your side. When you walk away, I count the steps that you take, do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you. When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too. When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day, and make it okay, I miss you.

We were made for each other, out here forever, I know we were.

All I ever wanted was for you to know, everything I'd do I'd give my heart and soul. I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me.

By Avril Lavigne.
Don't hate, lyrics are amazing. Kthnxbai.

Where's all the excitement?
@ 10:23 AM

Everything is just so boring.

I remember when even the littlest things used to excite me.
I remember when I had a 4th~5th grade crush and I got major butterflies by just looking at him walking towards my direction.

Where's all the excitement? Where's all the butterflies. I miss it. I miss having crushes on people. During 6~7th grade, I had absolutely no feelings for anyone. No butterflies, no nothing. No anxious feeling, no 'oh my God he looked at me' panicking, no 'I'll try to look my best today because he'll be sitting by me'.

Except for a couple of events like, road trips and plane rides, I hardly get excited at all.

Everything is the same old, same old. And I'm getting tired of it. Every day is like a damn routine.

"As you get older, things get less and less interesting." If that's true, then fuck it, my life is screwed. If growing up = boring, then I don't want to grow up anymore.

@ 10:22 AM

And even after all the things we've been through, I wonder if you still read my blog.

No phone
Monday, June 21, 2010 @ 3:01 PM

/Dies. Literally. I'm going to die.

I hate my mom right now.

She took it away from me because I refused to go to my friend's house today. What's so bad about staying at home? God damn it. Plus it's raining, it's going to rain all day, what the fuck am I going to do at his house, watch TV? I can do that shit here, in the comfort of my own fucking house.

I'm stubborn, and I don't plan on losing arguments with my mom. I'm not usually like this with other people, but with my mom, it's different. I don't know why, I just think she's always wrong and she needs to chill the fuck out and listen to what I have to say.

I kept refusing and refusing to go and she took away my phone. LOL..I should've just went. I regret it but oh well. I'll get it back some day.

My mom's officially the biggest bitch on the entire planet.
@ 2:52 PM

She begged and begged for me to say yes to going to my cousin's house in Arizona. My mom hates me obv. She wants some fucking time away from me. I kept saying no because I wanted time HERE, to go out with my friends, instead of being in a house with people I barely know (Which is true) thousands of miles away from MY home.

My cousin, aunt and uncle finally came to visit. It wasn't awkward at all, well only at first, and it was actually pretty fun. I thought they would yell at me for all the bad shit I've done in the past (Because apparently, my mom tells my aunt EVERYTHING) but they didn't. And they actually WANT me to come over to their house. They would take me to California and everything, which sounds pretty fun. And to get to Arizona from Florida, you have to take a plane, and I love plane rides. Two weeks away from Florida wouldn't kill, would it? And I also want a break from my mom as well. Maybe after I get back, things will be better between me and her.

I made up my mind and told my mom I was going to go. She says no. What the fuck? She hates me. She wants to force me to do the things I hate, and she never lets me do things I enjoy doing. This proves her hatred towards me.

It's sad how
@ 11:55 AM

I have to remind myself to be happy and smile every fucking day when I wake up.

@ 11:52 AM

It's really cute how things work out for everyone else, but me.
Fuck my life.

Whenever I laugh, I feel like I'm dying.
Sunday, June 20, 2010 @ 10:13 PM

My tummy muscles are sore! u_u
I did 400 sit ups..and I thought my body would be perfectly fine after it. I was wrong.
Shows how much I haven't worked out lately. I used to do 600 in a fucking snap. Seriously.

Anyways, it hurts whenever I try to flex them.
It hurts like fuck whenever I giggle or laugh.

It's like I'm laughing and crying at the same time because of how much it hurts.

I'm not disappointed, I'm just fucking done.
@ 5:12 PM

Done with wasting my time on you, thinking about you, missing you, and bull shit like that.

We're both fucking happy, yes? It's wonderful how we ended this way.

@ 4:20 AM

I guess the only reason I'm angry with you is because I've just now realized the truth. YOU'RE A DOUCHE. It hit me pretty hard.

Whenever I see
Saturday, June 19, 2010 @ 9:14 PM

Girls that have like a super perfect personality, it makes me feel ten times worse about myself. I don't really care about people and their looks, although I do hate how I look. But I hate how I am. I don't like how I'm not 'great' or funny, intelligent, or talented enough to be anything. I'm just, me, and I'm not all that great.

It makes me look back at myself and want to fix things, but it doesn't happen because that's not how I was born. I wish I was born with a good personality. I was I was pretty on the inside.

"People can change." No, people do not change. Even if they do, they can only change SO MUCH.

And some bitches are blessed with both pretty exteriors and interiors.

@ 8:17 PM

My hatred towards you has grown by a FUCKING HUNDRED.
NO, more than that.
Fuck.

Oh God, seriously, fuck you.
@ 8:14 PM

You're a liar.
And now you're not even fucking trust worthy.
Great.
What the fuck are you?

I should've never trusted you in the first place.

Yeah, that's right, I'm QQ'ing over what I did. I regret it. I know there's nothing I can do about it but I feel so fucking stupid. Fuck you.

Seeing people miss someone else
@ 7:34 PM

makes me feel more horrible.

@ 4:38 PM

HERE'S A BIG ASS TIP FOR YOU.

Don't make decisions when you're fucking PISSED.

@ 4:37 PM

I really fucking hate when I have to force myself to smile.

I learned that
@ 4:27 PM

it's okay to miss someone.

God, I can't even post shit I really feel on my own blog anymore. I know I don't give a fuck about what people think but there are certain things that should be kept unspoken, unseen, unheard.

I wish I met someone I could tell everything to. Without him or her ever getting to know who I really am, and without me getting to know who they are. Someone I have absolutely no background knowledge about. Their appearance, personality, etc being completely unknown.

Someone I can talk to for just this moment, without them having to judge me.
Because in order to judge, you need to know who they are first, right?

@ 10:08 AM

I'm continuing the 30-day Challenge on Tumblr.
Jsyk.

@ 9:34 AM

@ 9:33 AM



How was your way home, the day you left me?

@ 9:33 AM

@ 9:32 AM

I feel like you don't want me to know everything about you.

@ 9:31 AM

Re-posting.
@ 9:28 AM

Don’t worry, he’ll miss you. You’re the best he could get, and he blew it. Don’t let him make you think for one second that this was your fault. It’s not. He screwed up, and you did absolutely nothing wrong. You gave him your heart, and you trusted him to keep it and protect it, but he couldn’t. And honestly, he’s not mature enough. He’s not smart enough. If he was smart, he would have cared for you with every fiber of his being and been with you every spare second he could. But he didn’t, and now he’s gone. But don’t you cry. Don’t call him telling him you miss him. Don’t IM him, don’t message him, don’t comment him, don’t talk to him in the hallways. Just pretend you don’t care. And don’t be surprised when he comes crawling back saying he made a mistake. And if you want to go, go with him again. But make him work for you. Don’t be his doormat. Don’t let him in the first time he rings the bell. Make him come back every day until you trust him enough. If he doesn’t come back after a couple of tries, just let him go. But if he comes back every day, then he’s worth it. Trust me .. he’s worth it.

..And you weren't worth it.

@ 9:28 AM

@ 9:27 AM

@ 9:27 AM


Better. Completely unfucked, actually.

@ 9:26 AM

@ 9:25 AM

Sometimes, I wish you cared.

@ 9:25 AM

@ 9:25 AM

@ 9:24 AM

@ 9:23 AM

When I look up at the stars, or the sun, or I see the rain pouring down my window pane, I wonder; how many other people have looked at those things, and how many of them are heartbroken? And I wonder how they deal with it, and how many of them have cried that morning or night. I think of all the people who are under the same stars as me, and it makes me feel slightly less alone.

@ 9:22 AM

@ 9:22 AM

@ 9:22 AM

@ 9:21 AM

Do you remember this song?
@ 9:11 AM

For you non-Korean speakers, lyrics might sound a bit 'funny'. But really, it isn't funny at all.

Each time I hear it I feel like I'm about to cry.
And you should know why.

@ 9:08 AM

I have no idea if I'm happy or not.

Friday, June 18, 2010 @ 10:26 AM

"You shouldn't expect it. Everything and everyone is different. You're getting frustrated because you have expectations, you can't have that if you want it to work."

I'll be posting more on Tumblr.
@ 9:20 AM

"Why haven't you been posting a lot on your blog?"
I'll still be using blog spot. Tumblr mostly for pictures, Blog spot for words.
Tumblr! n_n

Thursday, June 17, 2010 @ 9:28 PM

I'm trusting you. Please, please don't disappoint me.

@ 10:36 AM

Tumblr
Didn't move, I'm still stickin' to Blogspot.
Follow me, I follow you, k?

@ 9:56 AM

South Korea 1 : 4 Argentina

My dad was pissed about the results, LOL. But whatever.
Better luck next time! Nigeria's going down.

Hi, I'm long. This is like a fucking novel.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010 @ 8:09 PM

I haven't posted a long ass post in awhile. Hope you don't fall asleep while reading it. n_n

I had nothing to do today, so I read through my MSN chat logs. (I do this often.) So many memories. It's a good thing I save all of it.

There was one file that caught my eye, mostly because it was the largest chat log file in my folder. 1000 KB? Or something close to that.

It contained memories from when me and that person were happy together and to when we both got so sick of each other we decided to go our own separate ways.

I'm going to be totally honest. I feel ashamed of myself. I sounded ridiculous.. When that person wanted to leave me I sounded to desperate. I was desperate. I wanted him so fucking bad..Now when I think about it, I have no idea why I wanted him more than anything. I was literally begging for him. What, me? Begging? Sounds lame.. but I did it anyways. What came over me? I don't know. Love?

By the way he was talking to me, the way he treated me, I should've been the one that left in the first place, but instead, he happily did my part.

"I can't trust you anymore, and you've hurt me, a lot."
...What?..How could he say the word trust when he was lying to me the whole time..And hurt? I'm the one that should be HURT. I'm the one that still has scars.

Then after that, he called me everything bad I could ever think of..but there was one that was absolutely ridiculous..Fake. Yeah that's the word. Hai guise, I'm fake1!1!11!! I put up a fucking fake front. Chyeah, right. I expected everything but THAT from you.

I begged, and begged, and I begged. He finally ran back into my arms and I thought I was in Heaven. (Which means I was extremely fucking HAPPY. "I was so happy I could die.") Unfortunately, happiness did not last long.

"I never wanted to come back in the first place. I came back because I felt bad."
(I think?) Was what he told me. Without hesitation. Which meant that he meant it 100%.

And I don't blame him for saying that, because he already had another girl in his heart. Of course he would say such a thing. It wasn't me who he wanted. And that shit's better than lying, I GUESS...

The words that came out of his mouth/keyboard were like knives. Seriously. And each time he spoke, I felt like I was getting stabbed in the mother fucking heart. Ouch.

I decided to give up on him. I gave him my everything, I tried my absolute best, but my best wasn't good enough. He was just that one person I could never satisfy. The emptyness fucking killed me inside. I wanted him so incredibly much, and I fucking loved him to death, but it was no use if I'm the only one who felt like that.

And it's partially my own fault that I got into this mess. I wouldn't have had my heart shattered, TWICE, if I just came to my fucking senses. I shouldn't have pushed him so hard and told him everything I felt when he wasn't with me. I basically made him feel bad for me, so he would come back. PATHETIC. I'm so fucking pathetic. This shit's like all my fault.

It was a one-sided love. The most horrible type of love anyone can ever experience. Why me? God. One-sided love is when one person is IN FUCKING LOVE with the other, to the point where they would think that they couldn't live without them and their bodies cannot function properly when they're gone. While the other one doesn't give a flying fuck about the other person's strong love towards them and is in love with another person/just dating them for fun, and what not.

I'm not bashing anyone. This post is here to tell you just how fucking pathetic/immature/inexperienced/lame/idiotic I am.

Anyways, those were the most horrible 2 months of my life, and still going. People close to me know how bad it was for me. LOL.. I didn't leave some of them alone and they had to deal with my complaining and crying. Hopefully I'll get over this shit and forget. Hao2forget? Ugh. Brain wash pls.

I really, truly, with all of my sincere heart, loved him. It's hard to forget shit like that. It's like it's stuck on to my brain, forever and ever. Constantly invading my thoughts and dreams.

"Psh, you don't know what love is, you're just a kid."
Shut, the fuck up. If this isn't love, then tell me what the fuck I was feeling, since you're so fucking wise and experienced.

I posted this because I really want to know what you guys think. Why do you think I stayed? Why do you think I was the only one so desperate, wanting him to stay, when he was so bad to me? I don't know why I did it, so you tell me.

Oh, and by the way, this is like my 'diary', I post things because in the future, I want to look back and see what I've been through and shit like that. Sounds cool doesn't it? /Sarcasm

So don't fucking criticize me or whatever you people do on the internet. Because I don't give a shit.

Just SAYIN'.

@ 3:53 PM


LOOOOOOOOL. I love him..I really do.

@ 2:54 PM

@ 2:53 PM

@ 2:52 PM

@ 2:26 PM

It’s June 16. That means half of 2010 is gone.

Time just goes by, way too fast.

@ 2:22 PM

3513.) Sometimes I don’t want to love you anymore, but every time I see your face, hear your voice, every time you talk to me, it’s like I’ve fallen for you all over again.

(via Blog Confession)
^ This..happens to me, every, single, fucking, time. So I've decided to avoid those situations altogether, because I'm THAT weak, and I couldn't take it anymore. And you know what, I think it's working. By avoiding, I can forget. And it feels great.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010 @ 1:06 PM

I’m scared I'm just a page in your life. You’ll leave and carry on without me. You already talk about life without me, don’t you realize it kills me? I should talk to you about it, but I cant bear the thought of what you might say.

@ 1:05 PM

"I can’t wait to get over the last 10 years of shitty relationships so I can date you."

@ 11:55 AM


^ LOL..

Monday, June 14, 2010 @ 9:33 PM

@ 2:28 PM



(via Manta at Sea World)


(via Kraken at Sea World)
^ They were pretty amazing. Let's go to Sea World! :D

@ 1:56 PM

Have you ever lost someone?
Tryna take it back but the damage is done.
Thought of losing you makes me feel so sad.
How am I gonna sleep when I feel this bad?

@ 1:37 PM

@ 1:26 PM

@ 1:17 PM

@ 1:16 PM


^ Hai guise, this is so me.

@ 5:03 AM

3404.) If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.

You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you endless I love you’s. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible.

^ K, this is me.

@ 4:46 AM

3467.)I hate how after that one night when you confessed to me how you really felt about me and how you loved me as much as I loved you, you stopped talking to me. And now every time I try to talk to you, you give me the cold shoulder.

3447.) How do I erase all the pain?

3442.) I’m in love with someone who lives hundreds of miles away from me…

3430.) I think you are around. I think you keep tabs on me. I think you miss me, maybe a little. I think you want things from me, but you are confused and scared. I think I am too. I think it is too easy to assume things from minute to minute because we don’t just straighten things out. I think you’ve tried to call, but my phone is broken. I want to call you, but I’m afraid I’ve made this all up. I’m leaving him, but I think I’m utterly devoid of faith and courage. I’m not leaving because of you, but I’m afraid you’d think I was. I really miss you, but in this situation I am pathetic little girl. I would like to talk to you, no expectations, no holding back. I think we really need each other right now, but I am afraid we’ll never get our timing straight. I’m afraid that if I really leave you alone, there will be no more chances; and Lord knows we’ve wasted so many. I think you are afraid of what you think I want, I think I’m afraid of what you might say. But, I really want you back in my life, in so many ways. These pixels might be enough to carry us through, if only I knew you were really on the other end. Sometimes people are hard to let go of because they have something we need. We never were ones to follow the rules, why start now? I wish I could reach you. I wish that this anon msg was enough.

(via Blog Confession)

@ 4:44 AM

I’m done trying. If you want me in your life, let me know. Bye.

Cute!
@ 4:27 AM

The pair of a Libra woman with a Sagittarius man can be called as heavenly-made. There will exist a wonderful bonding, intimacy and understanding that others will feel jealous if they are not experiencing the same bonding with their counterparts. A Sagittarius man will be able to express his feelings to her. The physical attraction between them will keep-up the excitement and intensity. He is capable of making a Libra woman laugh even in her dull mood with his spontaneous and talkative nature. On the other hand, a Libra woman firmly believes in him and will shower her love and warmth to make a Sagittarius man happy.

@ 4:19 AM

Let's act like nothing happened. Let's be strangers.

@ 4:07 AM

You came into my life and I thought, "Hey, you know this could be something." 'Cause everything you do and words you say, you know that it all takes my breath away, and now I'm left with nothing. So maybe it's true, that I can't live without you. And maybe two, is better than one. But there is so much time, to figure out the rest in my life, and you've already got me coming undone. And I'm thinking two, is better than one.

I remember every look upon your face, the way you roll your eyes, the way you taste, you make it hard for breathing. 'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away, I think of you and everything's okay. And finally now, believing.

@ 3:32 AM

When did I create my blog?
December 23, 2009.
Eh, it hasn't been that long.

No water
@ 3:15 AM

I'm going to tell you about my day because I have nothing better to do and you probably don't either. :)

Today, my cousin drove into a water pipe, and broke it. It was the 'main water pipe' which means, when it broke, it disconnected the water supply to my house as well as creating a 20 feet arc of water spewing out of the pipe.

It was Sunday, so the office to our water company was closed. Which fucking sucked by the way, because we absolutely could NOT find anyone to help us. We had to find help, quick. We couldn't just let hundreds of gallons of water flowing out per fucking second go to waste. It took about 2 hours to finally get someone to 'take a look' at it. (Took 2 hours because we tried like a hundred different numbers [not exaggerating] and almost none of them answered.) It was the god damn plumber. He said he couldn't fix it because he wasn't allowed to touch it or some shit, what the fuck.

Then a fellow neighbor was driving by with his golf cart and in less than a minute, he shut the water off. Which means no more exploding water going all over the place. Dumb ass plumber. Anyways, the water stopped flowing but the pipes were still broken, which means there was still no water in my house. (I was dying to take a shower. God, I hate Florida's humidity.)

We waited for someone to come out and fix it for over 2 hours. They also just 'took a look' at it and left. Another person came around 8pm, and he finished repairing it at about 11 pm.

Jesus Christ.

@ 3:14 AM

@ 3:13 AM

@ 3:12 AM

My secret is that, I am scared to lose you.

@ 3:11 AM


^ I am in love with roller coasters.

@ 3:10 AM

@ 3:09 AM

Planning
@ 3:02 AM

I never do it anymore. I used to plan everything, I used to be so organized. Now I just go with the flow and I'm not getting anywhere. I've grown unstable over the past few years. I'm never sure of anything. I don't know anything for sure. I have no idea what exactly I want to do or want, and it is absolutely horrible.

Day 03 — Your favorite television program
@ 1:58 AM

Family Guy. Some like it, others don't. I love it. It's like the only show I actually watch on TV. I think it's genius. The writers of the script must be awfully intelligent. It usually makes my day and I can watch it for hours on end. I think I've watched all the episodes so far. /No lifer n_n

Hello Pheonix?
@ 1:46 AM

I might consider going to Phoenix, Arizona over the summer. I'll be going to California and all those places if I do, and I want to get out of the state. It might be fun.

World Cup 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010 @ 9:26 AM

Korea 2:0 Greece
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Day 02 — Something that made you smile today
@ 9:06 AM

(5:50am) "I love you < 3"

When Alan woke up at 6 in the morning to text me, then fell asleep.

Dear Alan,
@ 8:51 AM

I want to start off by telling you that I am sorry. I am incredibly sorry. I'm a horrible girlfriend, and you know it. But yet you tell me that I'm as great as ever. I know I'm not.

Next, I want to thank you. I'm so grateful to have someone like you. You're understanding; you're amazingly kind. You're patient with me, and it takes a lot to wait for someone like me to get over the past.

You make me happy. You know how to make me smile when I'm down. I have no idea where I would be right now without you.

I feel like I can trust you. It's only been a month but I actually feel "safe" with you. I feel like you won't be the type of guy that will hurt me on purpose, or lie to me. And I know you won't make me feel jealous or any of that bad shit.

You have always been there for me, when I needed you, even when we were friends. I know that you're reliable. You're trustworthy, and that's all I have ever wanted.

I love you, Alan. ♥_♥ Happy one month. 6/12/2010

Great
Friday, June 11, 2010 @ 4:56 PM

You stopped talking to me. I guess it's a good thing. But don't you think you're being a bit too selfish?

@ 4:25 PM

@ 12:45 PM

Monica says:
*brb lafing
*LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
- myumyu! says:
*LOLOLOOLOL.
*omg ..
* LOL
Monica says:
*LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
*u have nice choice
- myumyu! says:
*he never showed me how he looked like ok
Monica says:
*even more gay
*u dated someone without knowing they gross
- myumyu! says:
*ya fml

Day 01 — Your favorite song
@ 12:24 PM



This is hot shit. This song might not have very much meaning to it, but it's a great song you can dance to. And I like dancing.

30 day challenge
@ 12:19 PM

• Day 01 — Your favorite song
• Day 02 — Something that made you smile today
• Day 03 — Your favorite television program
• Day 04 — Your favorite book
• Day 05 — Your favorite quote
• Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy
• Day 07 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
• Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad
• Day 09 — A photo you took
• Day 10 — Your dreams
• Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently
• Day 12 — Parents
• Day 13 — A fictional book
• Day 14 — Something you wish you could change about yourself
• Day 15 — A song that you listen to when you’re angry
• Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
• Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
• Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy
• Day 19 — A talent of yours
• Day 20 — A hobby of yours
• Day 21 — A recipe
• Day 22 — A website
• Day 23 — A YouTube video
• Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy
• Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
• Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
• Day 27 — This month, in great detail
• Day 28 — This year, in great detail
• Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
• Day 30 — Whomever you find most attractive in this world

@ 11:57 AM

I deleted your number, for the seventh time.

I get more tired when
@ 11:03 AM

I spend a whole day on the computer than spending a whole day outside, walking around and shit.

@ 10:57 AM

@ 10:56 AM

@ 10:28 AM

@ 10:23 AM

If I walk, would you run?
If I stop, would you come?
If I say you're the one, would you believe me?
If I ask you to stay, would you show me the way?
Tell me what to say, so you don't leave me.

I'll try for your love.

Thursday, June 10, 2010 @ 1:41 PM


(via Youtube Channel)

You don't see me the same no more. It's hard to see the light with closing doors. Don't treat me like, like I'm invisible. Your tone with me, it's not the usual. We scream, we fight, saying things that we both regret. And that's not right; that you could just forget me like that. You've never tried. Always taking the easy route, always taking the easy route; never want to work it out. You want to be free. You want to leave me. I can't believe, 'cause without you, baby, I'm incomplete.

Am I erased? Just a segment of your imagination. I'm feeling replaced, like a faded picture, where you can't see my face. Scratched out, erased.

In memory of what we used to call love, I reminisce when it used to be us. Remember when, when I was the most important to you? But now I'm a ghost. This trust has died, there's no way we can bring it back. We live our life, no holds-barred and no strings attached. It's in your eyes. A part of you just wants me back, and all of me just wants you back.

You want to be free, you want to leave me. I can't believe. Am I.. Am I.. Am I erased? Just a segment of your imagination. I'm feeling replaced, like a faded picture, where you can't see my face. Scratched out, erased.

Can anybody see me, see me now? I'm erased from the crowd. So cold and I don't know how. Find me now.

@ 11:31 AM


^ Haha, that's cute.

@ 11:26 AM

Don’t say you love me, unless it’s forever. Don’t tell me you need me, if you’re not going to stay.

@ 11:25 AM

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on that ring to prove you’re not alone.

Don't you hate it when the guy you like
@ 11:15 AM

constantly fucking talks about other girls? Like, dude, shut the fuck up. If you're trying to make me jealous, it's working, so you can stop now.

Well, thank you 3OH!3. I most certainly will never trust a hoe.
@ 11:15 AM

T-t-tell your boyfriend that I’m a vegetarian. And I’m not fucking scared of him.

So I woke up this morning
@ 11:13 AM

at 11. Latest I've woken up, ever. I think. And no one was home so I was a bit confused. Then I realized my sister had school today. HAHA sucks for her.

@ 11:12 AM

@ 11:07 AM

I'm going to be totally honest with you. I don't know what I want. I change my mind, a lot. I'm never sure of anything. So, for now, I'm going to leave things as it is.

@ 11:07 AM

Fail phone conversation.
@ 11:01 AM

Me: Maybe.
Alan: Baby?
Me: No, maaaaaaaaaaaybe.
Alan: Baaaaby?
Me: Maybemaybemaybe.
Alan: Babybabybaby!

You are deaf. LOL

@ 12:55 AM

I can't believe I even THOUGHT about giving him a second chance. I'm so fucking stupid.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010 @ 11:56 PM

You were a total douche bag to me the whole day yesterday. But you made it up by telling me that you're going to miss me the most right before you left. See you in two months.

@ 9:34 PM

Myu C. // LOOKBOOK.nu

Hai guise, I made it in!

@ 8:20 PM

I could really use a wish right now.

@ 8:38 AM

And there’ll always be those awkward times when we look at each other and remember how things used to be.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010 @ 11:17 PM

I am sorry that I am hopelessly in fucking love with you.

@ 11:09 PM

Goodbye is the hardest thing to say to someone who means the world to you, especially when goodbye isn’t what you want.

@ 11:05 PM

@ 11:02 PM

"Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You’re deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke your heart. Remember the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you."

@ 10:53 PM

My feelings for him are strong.

@ 5:25 PM

I'm sorry I can’t tell you whats really on my mind. I'm sorry I can’t be as pretty as the other girl you hit on. I'm sorry my personality isn’t as bubbly as hers. I'm sorry you love her and not me. I'm sorry you make me feel guilty for all the shit you put ME through. I'm sorry I'm still in love with you.

@ 5:11 PM

10954.) Sometimes I wonder if you really love me as much as you say that you do, or if you even love me at all. Sometimes I wonder if you know how much you mean to me. Sometimes I wonder if you ever think about me when we’re apart. And sometimes I wonder if you miss me as much as I miss you right now.

@ 8:01 AM

I pretend I’m really happy all the time, and that most little things don’t bother me, but truthfully I feel ignored, uncared for, and just plain invisible.

@ 7:58 AM

16099.) You say you love me but in my gut i feel like you care more about her than me. You might even be IN LOVE with her.

16079.) I still think about my ex all the time. He never knew how much i loved him because i was scared he wouldn’t say it back. Most of all i STILL want to know the reason why he broke up with me.

(via Blog Secret)

@ 7:49 AM

I look in the mirror in the morning and think...
'Why would anyone EVER want you?"


I only like boys with skinny jeans, hair just falling over their eyes, and cute grins.



Whenever I borrow a hoodie or a pair of pants from you, I find myself constantly smelling them for a breath of your cologne.
Then before I give it back, I spray it with my perfume, hoping you’ll do the same thing.

(via Six Billion Secrets)

@ 7:40 AM

Today I was at the grocery store with my mom.

As we were pushing our cart, I heard a woman sobbing. I turned around. There stood a couple, linked arm in arm, the woman laughing so hard she was crying, and the man with two carrots stuffed up his nose, laughing as well.

They were about eighty years old. Their love GMH.

(via Love Gives Me Hope)

@ 7:34 AM

3394.) Why do you get to decide whether I have a good day or a bad day? Why do I smile whenever I think of you? When do I even stop thinking of you? How do you have the ability to make me laugh harder than I’ve ever laughed before? How can you make me so undeniably happy without even trying? And why can’t I bring myself to admit that I’m head over heels in love with you?

3396.) I am in love with a boy. I am in love with a boy who once loved me. Now, he doesn’t even care about me.

3381.) Even though we love each other, he reminds me every once in a while, how disgusted he is of my body. About my stretch marks and fat. And he tells me it’s hard when we have sex because he can’t stare at my body. He says he still loves me and we’re still getting married, as long as I’m not fat anymore. I die a little inside whenever he brings it up.

(via Blog Confession)
@3381: Douche bag alert.

@ 7:31 AM

Honestly, I don't know if I should trust you again. I don't want to get hurt.

Monday, June 7, 2010 @ 9:12 PM

Why do I feel like you're always lying to me..?

@ 9:03 PM



"You are the first person I've ever loved, and so I love you very much. But I don't know how to show it. What do I have to do for you to be happy?" The child asked the cactus.

"I just. Want to be hugged by someone." answered the cactus as it gave a little smile.

"Really? Really?! Then you'll REALLY be happy?"

The little boy walked towards the cactus and hugged it.

[Cactus POV]

"Someone please take this child away. My thorns are prickling the child. The more I try to push away, the more my thorns will hurt him. The child's clothes are becoming drenched in blood. Rather than being happy, I am in pain.

Someone please take this child away. Take him away and take out the thorns and heal him.

By what's happening, I will eventually kill this child. Someone please take this child away...."

[The Child's POV]

"The cactus does not look at me and smile.

I don't know how to love. To me...love keeps hurting me. And so I keep hugging it tighter. But the Cactus still does not smile.

Does not smile...
Does not smile..."

The child keeps hugging the Cactus tighter.
Until the Cactus will smile.....

My fear.
@ 8:32 PM

One of my biggest fears is losing people that are close to me. Yeah, change is natural. No one can stop things from changing; everything moves on and we need to learn and adapt to new things. I've lost numerous friends during my middle school years. I hate it. I hate how we drifted apart. I hate how every time I see them, in the bathrooms or in the hall way, it feels awkward. I hate how we don't even bother to say, "Hi," anymore, or smile at each other.

High school is going to be worse. It's bigger, there's more people, more drama, more shit. I can feel it. I'm going to make new friends, and lose old ones. I just hope I make good friends. People that are actually worth my time.

@ 8:31 PM

@ 8:31 PM

@ 8:27 PM

I know I shouldn't talk to you, because I'll be the only one hurt in the end, but I can't stop. I don't want to.

@ 8:24 PM


Hai I r cyclops.

Sunday, June 6, 2010 @ 10:35 PM


My life.

My Dear Juliet,
@ 9:39 PM

My Dear Juliet,

Honestly, I hope no one ever reads this. & I don't expect them to.
Incidently, I'm going to type down my feelings and thoughts to get them out of my head.

Recently the topic going through my mind has been L O V E. Yes, as corny as it is
I'm dying to find it.
Last time I checked, middle schoolers didn't take relationships seriously. And I'm thinking its all those sappy love story books that made me desire the feeling of being in love. Part of me tries to convince myself how un-normal it is for a girl my age to not want to mess around with people and just skip the that one person who steals my heart.
But the hopeless romantic in me wants me to keep looking for him out there.
It's completely unlikely ill ever marry or even have a decent loving relationship with anyone at my school or anyone I know. I've had my head in the clouds a lot lately " day dreaming " about meeting someone.



But maybe there's someone I have a eye on.....

(via Blogspot)
My best friend writes wonderfully.

@ 9:38 PM

Stop leaving me out.

@ 9:23 PM


^ I want this in my room.

@ 9:23 PM

@ 9:20 PM

Boy: I'm sorry.
Girl: So what?
Boy: I'm sorry.
Girl: I don't care.
Girl: You were never there.

@ 9:17 PM

@ 9:16 PM

@ 9:13 PM

@ 9:11 PM

"I love when we’re driving in your car and you hold my hand in yours. I love when we have endless conversations about life, love and everything else in between. I love when we talk about our past with different people, insecurities set aside. I love it more when we talk about our future, together. I love when you turn my frown upside down and wipe my tears away. I love when I ramble on and when all the words are done tumbling out of my mouth you smile and say ‘I love listening to you talk’. I love when we’re watching serials together in bed and you suddenly say ‘Baby, you look so pretty’. I love when you kiss my forehead and tell me I’m special. I love when I’m with you."

@ 9:09 PM