Friday, April 29, 2011 @ 5:19 PM

When you find yourself always crying over someone, it means that you should either leave or make it work. If you've tried making it work and you're the only one trying, then leaving is the best option. Loving someone and receiving love the right way never hurts. Love should never bring tears to your eyes unless they're tears of joy. Love shouldn't hurt and it shouldn't make you cry yourself to sleep at night. True love naturally and effortlessly brings a smile to your face. True love solves your problems instead of causing complications. Distance won't be a problem because they're always with you in spirit. Their absence won't be agonizing and you won't feel lonely because you have that special connection. The connection only you two can feel.

Thursday, April 28, 2011 @ 8:32 PM

@ 4:51 PM

I'm tired of being the "rebound friend". Just because I'm nice enough to be there for you when you're in need doesn't mean you can take advantage of it. You only come to me when you need someone. I was there when everyone left you. I was there when you were in tears. I held your hand and picked you up when you fell. When you wanted to talk, I listened. But where were you when I needed someone to confide in? Where were you when I was alone? You don't deserve all the attention I give you. Next time you need me, I won't make it. I'll reject your calls and ignore your texts then act as if nothing happened. I hope karma bites you in the ass.

Monday, April 25, 2011 @ 6:56 PM

And once again, just when I thought things were looking up, it gets even worse. I'm sick of this routine of momentary happiness and the feeling of despair sweeping over me. It happens too often. At one moment I'll be ecstatic and melancholy the next. It's an on-going cycle of those two emotions shifting back and forth. I just want to be happy all the time. Why has it become such a challenge?

Sunday, April 24, 2011 @ 10:15 PM

Saturday, April 23, 2011 @ 7:05 PM

Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won't know for twenty years. And you may never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it's what you create. And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but it doesn't really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope that something good will come along. Something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel whole, something to make you feel loved. And the truth is I feel so angry, and the truth is I feel so fucking sad, and the truth is I've felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long I've been pretending I'm OK, just to get along, just for, I don't know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own.

source: Synecdoche, New York (2008)

@ 6:57 PM

@ 6:55 PM

Whatever you expect from someone, you should be able to give the same thing back to them.

@ 6:54 PM

Blood Type A
@ 12:14 PM

Sensitive person. You’re easy to be hurt from even a small matter and you are unnecessarily sensitive. You think in your way, interpret, and misunderstand. But hiding your own thoughts, you look like a nice person considering others and taking care of your surroundings. You like the romantic mood, forgetting reality, and are indulged in a fantastic world. Unexpectedly, you are a stubborn perfectionist.

(via abstruseness)

Acceptance.
Friday, April 22, 2011 @ 1:49 AM

To be honest, I'm a broken person.

I may act like I'm fine and my life's going smoothly, but there's so much more than what's visible to the naked eye. There's a whole different story to one smile, one tear, or one look. I put up a front to show the world I'm alright, because if I don't, the world will take advantage of me when I'm at my weakest state, defenseless. Sometimes, I need to act like I'm tough so others won't try to crush what's on the inside. The lies are created to conceal the purity of the truth.

All I need is someone who's okay with me and my incapability to reach perfection. They can see my broken inside and not leave because it's too hard to be with someone who has numerous flaws. They'll accept me for the ugly and the beautiful, because they love everything about me. It just takes one person to understand that you've had heart aching experiences that might never go away. It just takes one person to embrace you as you are.

It takes one person to understand that being broken is alright.

@ 1:16 AM

Thursday, April 21, 2011 @ 6:07 PM

I keep telling myself it's just a phase. It'll pass and when it does, everything will return to normal again. I continuously try to reassure myself to feel better but the presence of disappointment never fails to disappear. By the looks of it, it looks like it's going to stay with me for awhile.

Labels: feeling

Tuesday, April 19, 2011 @ 9:44 PM

Monday, April 18, 2011 @ 5:04 PM

Chill out
Friday, April 15, 2011 @ 3:33 PM

People are so fucking overly dramatic. They turn the smallest problems into a huge mess and want everyone involved. Just forget about what happened and move on with your life. It's no big deal and it's not hard. All you have to do is try and everything will work out. Stop taking every damn thing seriously and learn to laugh at yourself once in awhile. Problems come and go and you're not the only one going through shit so quit your whining. If you haven't already noticed, the world doesn't fucking revolve around you. Not everyone cares about you and most importantly, no one wants to hear you complaining. You might not have much but make the best with what you've got. Everyone's struggling to get by, it's not just you. Shut up and go learn to enjoy life.

Thursday, April 14, 2011 @ 4:01 PM

"Basically, I'm like a well. I'm deep."

Day 10: One confession
Friday, April 8, 2011 @ 12:43 PM

I'm a scaredy cat. I'm scared of just about everything. The dark, bugs, heights, horror films, rejection; you name it. I try my best to cover my fears though, and it's as if I've built a wall so no one can get to me. I'm hiding underneath cover ups and excuses because I don't want people to see that I'm weak. I'm really not as strong as you may think I am. Once I let people in, all they do is take advantage, so I stopped doing that. For the sake of myself.

Day 9: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011 @ 8:30 PM

1. -__-"

2. :/

Bad.
@ 5:41 PM

I shouldn't stress over the little stuff, but as someone who appreciates being in control, this is one of the hardest things for me to do. The smallest things bring me down and it's because I take most of them to heart instead of just brushing them off. It's funny how my day could be going perfectly, and one negative event or interpretation can ruin my day. My mind is sometimes so brittle; just one let down and you're pretty much depressed for the rest of the day. My happiness is like fragile glass, one hit and it shatters all over the place. I'll admit it. I'm too sensitive. I wish I could filter out the bad and just hear the positive side of things. I want the negative things to just roll off my back without disturbing my happiness.

Now we're back to the beginning. Back to negative square one. Back to strangers. Back to nothing.
Monday, April 4, 2011 @ 8:27 PM

Human nature:
@ 6:00 PM

With years of online experience, I know for sure that communicating via Facebook, MSN, or AIM is much efficient and easier than talking to someone directly in person. I'm sure many of you know this as well, and the fact that it has more value when you express your feelings in person. Since we're all human, we all have something that we aren't capable of. Until we're sure of it, until there's a 100% guarantee, we won't give in. We won't give anything and most definitely not our all.

Lack of commitment is something that every one of us go through. It's human nature because no one wants to give their all to something they might never have. No one wants to be put in such a vulnerable position where everything could be taken from right underneath them. You can trust someone but that doesn't mean you won't have your doubts. You may love her or him, but that doesn't mean your feelings won't somewhat waver when someone else catches your eye.

You want them to know something but you don't want to be the one that tells them. Reason being: You're afraid of how they'll perceive you. You might lose them because of what you said. You don't want to regret making that decision. You're afraid to get hurt. You might lose their trust and even their love; unless it never meant anything to begin with.

Day 8: Three turn ons.
@ 4:16 PM

1. Special skill of any kind. Something that makes you stand out amongst the crowd. Instruments, singing, dancing, drawing, writing, just about anything really.

2. Good humor.

3. Being able to express thoughts and feelings well.

Sunday, April 3, 2011 @ 8:35 AM

Day 7: Four turn offs.
@ 7:19 AM

1. Really bad sex jokes.
The ones that just cross the line.

2. Rude and have no manners.
Pretty much self-explanatory.

3. Not dressed well.
The least you can do is color coordinate your clothing.

4. Cockiness.
Being humble is always a plus.

Day 6: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Saturday, April 2, 2011 @ 12:44 PM

1. Mom
2. Dad
3. Sister
4. One and only best friend
5. Him

Labels: 10 day challenge

Friday, April 1, 2011 @ 11:13 PM

@ 10:30 PM

I feel so out of place. I don't know where I belong. I just want to feel accepted, that's all.

Day 5: Six things you wish you’d never done.
@ 3:17 PM

1. Break my parents' trust.
2. Slack off in middle school. My GPA is lower than what I expected because I never did shit in gym and math.
3. Started acting like I didn't care because now people take advantage of that. They say something rude and expect me not to get offended. I got into that mess so I have no choice but to act like I'm not hurt when I really am.
4. Get on the computer. Lol.
5. Move from Orlando because of my dad.
6. Started lying because lies grow.