I admit
Thursday, December 30, 2010
@ 12:42 PM
I'm gullible. Too gullible. I fall for anything. Even the things that people say that're obvious lies. Sometimes I sit myself down and think about everything I know. What I've heard, seen, and experienced. And I wonder how many of those things are actually true or right. I believe in almost anything, and it's not hard to convince me or change the way I think. So whatever anyone says, it sticks to me and I believe it until something comes along to change my mind. I'm easily changeable. I'm easily influenced. I'm gullible. And I hate that about myself. It just makes everything in my life a hundred times more complicated.
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"Jokes"
@ 12:35 PM
There's a limit to jokes and if you cross them, you'll end up hurting people's feelings. You'll make yourself sound ignorant. It bothers me when people crack jokes about people's height, race, weight, appearance, and family. We all have insecurities and you shouldn't bring people down even more by making a "joke" about something they might be sensitive about. "I was just kidding, why can't you take a joke?" It wasn't funny, it was offensive.
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I don't want to talk to you.
@ 12:32 PM
No, I didn't lose my phone. I'm not busy. The text message didn't fail to send. Facebook messenger didn't crash. There's nothing wrong with my phone or my internet. I just didn't want to reply to you.
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@ 12:17 PM
After a while I stopped giving people chances. I stopped trusting and therefore, I stopped getting disappointed. I had this mindset that I couldn’t be let down if I never gave anyone an opportunity. Now I’m wondering about how many people I could have kept in my life if I wasn’t too scared to take those risks.
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@ 12:15 PM
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@ 12:14 PM
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@ 12:10 PM
"I rely on everyone else for happiness, because I have none of my own. I am just another face lost in the movements of the world, another pair of eyes searching for what I long for, and what I am here for. I want somebody too tell me it'll all be alright, even if it's far from the truth. I'm not looking to be anyone's anything, I just want some clarity, the light at the end of the tunnel. wrecklessness and low-level thinking, among all of the other sub-standard bullshit is done, I'm done with it all. I want to be able to let go, I want my dreams to become reality, and I want happiness at its fullest extent. Maybe all that wont come to me now, but I wont sit around and wait all my life. I'll live to the fullest extent, no matter what happens." Source: Some guy's blog's autobiography.
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@ 12:05 PM
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@ 12:04 PM
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@ 12:02 PM
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Put it into action.
@ 11:58 AM
Saying something and doing something are completely different things. I’d rather have someone do something for me without saying it first. Actions speak louder than words. So stop telling me that you miss me and start doing something about it.
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@ 11:53 AM
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@ 11:52 AM
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Confession 1.
@ 11:47 AM
No matter how hard I try, I'll always be the second choice. Always.
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I'll never know
@ 11:45 AM
People that do stupid and unexpected shit make me repeat the word "WHY" a million times. I don't fucking get why people have to do shit that pisses everyone off.
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One person
@ 11:38 AM
That I'm not scared of. I'm not scared of being judged or criticized when I'm talking to that person. I can be stupid and they'll accept me. They'll just laugh it off. They consider me as special. Therefore I feel special. They won't hurt me, they won't break my heart. Someone that I don't have to worry about because that person will most likely be always there for me and I'll always be there for that person. Someone that will always talk to me. Someone that will always answer my calls. Someone that never brings me down or ruins my mood. And that person never fails to make me smile. It's sad that, that person probably doesn't know who I wrote this for.
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@ 11:37 AM
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Update
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
@ 11:20 PM
Past four days were wonderful. Only because I spent it with Monica. Hehehehehehehehehe I loved it. Monica was probably bored but I had fun while I was with her. I really like spending time with this girl. Seriously. We do some stupid shit. But it's so funny. Went shopping today for like 9 hours. My feet ache. I'm exhausted. The mall has some good sales though. Might go again tomorrow. P.S. I apologize to all the people we called last night. I don't know what got into us. LOL
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@ 11:00 PM
Monica: Is this what it feels like to be high? Me: No it feels better. Monica: What the fuck Both: PWAHAHAHAHA
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Saturday, December 25, 2010
@ 9:25 AM
WHAT A F'ING WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS.
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It's been a whole year..
Friday, December 24, 2010
@ 11:49 AM
Since I first made this blog. I read my first post and I realized how much I've changed since then. What I've learned this past year: Time heals everything. And you'll eventually forget it all, even the pain. Posting from iTouch is so annoying.
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Wednesday, December 22, 2010
@ 2:45 PM
 ":(" because this picture's quality is shitty. But on the bright side, it's warm enough to wear shorts.
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Potential weakness:
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
@ 11:14 PM
Forgetting to take care of your own needs.So I guess this is telling me that I put myself last and put everyone before me. Which is sometimes true. Labels: astrology
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You probably won't read this but,
@ 3:06 AM
I'm so scared of losing you. I feel like you aren't happy, and I'm only making things worse for you. I say this a million times, but I'm sorry for sucking at cheering you up. I've always sucked at cheering people up, actually. But that's not a good enough excuse. I want to make you happy. I want to make you smile in the darkest times. I need to try harder.
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@ 2:44 AM
 Whoop-dee-doo. The fucking Eclipse. Not even that great. Chill out people.
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That's what you get
Monday, December 20, 2010
@ 7:14 PM
Caday says: *obv ballers ' myu says: *you're a loser just for saying the word baller Caday says: *I've probably consumed 20 gallons of water today. ' myu says: *LOLL *and how many times did you use the bathroom Caday says: *600 ' myu says: *grossssssss Caday says: *its miserable ' myu says: *your fault Caday says: *so not my fault ' myu says: *then who's Caday says: *whoever passed it to me ' myu says: *and you took it Caday says: *obviously ' myu says: *SO YOUR FAULT. Caday says: *nope. ' myu says: *you make no sense son Caday says: *kush is my cologne. ' myu says: *that shit smells horrible Caday says: *so good *time for another bottle of water. ' myu says: *i'd be siiiiick. Caday says: *its miserable. ' myu says: *LOL so funny Caday says: *not. ' myu says: *it is. Caday says: *i'm never doing it again. ' myu says: *at least you learned your lesson Caday says: *i'll probably do it again.
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@ 12:09 PM
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My problem
@ 12:07 PM
I always wait for something to happen and in the end I'm just waiting for nothing. I always feel like there will be a chance so I keep my hopes up silently but I know it never will. So then I fall back quietly and no one notices what I was feeling.
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@ 11:49 AM
Love is either there, or it was never there in the first place.
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Sunday, December 19, 2010
@ 9:47 PM
"Everyone’s heartbroken nowadays. But I mean, we all just have to move on. What’s the point of reminiscing when you know the person is no longer worth while; when they’re no longer who they used to be? When their heart is somewhere else? Do you think they still care for you, or are still thinking about you? Because frankly, they don’t."
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The truth
@ 9:42 PM
There's a point in your life when you know who stays forever, and who's just around for a while. People change, but so do you. Sometimes for the best, and sometimes for the worst. Bad things happen to everyone, you're not in it alone. People lie, and some people just don't care how you feel. Your heart beats, no matter how much pain you're in. Everything will be okay eventually. There are always people in your life that just make your day, no matter the miles. I know about distance, I've been dealing with it all my life, so don't tell me it's easy, because it's not. But it's worth it. I'd rather keep in touch with the people I love, than just drop it and forget about it. You don't forget the ones you love. It just doesn't work like that. Give it all you've got and live your life to the fullest. People would kill to be you, have what you have; someone always has it worse off than you, but that doesn't mean that your pain doesn't count. Labels: throw back
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@ 9:38 PM
There’s nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons. — The Perks of Being a Wallflower
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Sometimes,
@ 9:18 PM
It's better to face your problems. Deal with it and get it over with. It's like when you're trying to peel off a super sticky band-aid off of your wound, or when you're too nervous to do your presentation when the teacher calls on you. It's better to end it quick so you don't have to deal with it later.
"Numbing the pain for awhile will make it worse when you finally feel it."
Keep building up false hopes and lies within yourself and when reality finally hits you, it'll be overwhelming. Drag on your problems, worries, or doubts, and before you know it, it'll grow uncontrollably. It'll be too much for you to handle. You won't have control over anything.
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Saturday, December 18, 2010
@ 9:43 PM
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@ 2:53 PM
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@ 2:52 PM
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Friday, December 17, 2010
@ 9:47 AM
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Remember,
@ 9:45 AM
I was there for you when no one else was.
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@ 9:43 AM
Many things do not last forever. but some do. A good song, a good book, a picture, or a good memory. A memory you can unfold in your darkest times, peering in close, hoping you still recognize the person you see there.
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@ 9:42 AM
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@ 9:42 AM
 ^ LMAO.
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@ 9:42 AM
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Thursday, December 16, 2010
@ 8:26 PM
Why am I so scared and paranoid and worried when it comes to you? What gives you the ability to make me feel like this?
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@ 7:04 PM
I feel so out of place.
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010
@ 11:22 PM
I like to crack myself up, because no one else does it.
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Monday, December 13, 2010
@ 8:38 PM
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Why do I write?
@ 8:38 PM
To make myself feel better.
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I'm lying to myself.
@ 8:26 PM
I give myself false hope and expectations that never match up to reality. I assume too quickly. My brain sugar coats things and makes things seem better than they actually are. I create problems and worries for myself by over analyzing just about everything that comes and goes in my mind. I think too much about the smallest, most useless, and insignificant actions and details. I make them seem worse and bigger, causing a dramatic distraction to myself and others. I always worry about what could be, and what I wish would happen, but I never put anything into action because I'm afraid of failure. I tell myself that things will work and I try to believe in the tiniest bit of hope even though something inside tells me that it won't. I can't make something out of nothing. I'm living in this fantasy world, created by years and years of day dreaming where everything good really does happen. Labels: I feel weird today
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@ 8:24 PM
"I mean, it’s stupid to miss someone you didn’t even get along with. But I don’t know, it was nice, you know, having someone you could always fight with."
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I just want to know that you'll be there.
@ 8:16 PM
I want to know that all the things you tell me are true. I want to know that the friendship we share is meaningful. I want to rely on you, without being scared that you'll leave me. I want to trust you, and stop doubting. I want to be important to you.
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Hear me out.
@ 8:05 PM
No matter how many times you fuck up, or how many people you lose, you're a good person. You might as well be Superman if you plan on living the perfect life.
Let's face it, you can't stop change, so embrace it. Don't waste time over people who don't matter. Live without them and move on. Your life is filled with so much more adventures and other wonderful things that you don't want to miss out on. Don't let them hold you back. The majority of the people you meet in your life won't mean anything.
But there will come a time where you will meet one person, whether it's the love of your life or your best friend forever, literally. And when you meet that special person, hold on to them.
Don't be afraid to get rid of people. There will be people in your life that you do not need. Find a friend that will be there for you when you need them. Find someone that will put a real smile on your face.
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@ 7:32 PM
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Friday, December 10, 2010
@ 3:05 PM
I know what I said. But it was a long time ago, and things change.
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I feel nothing.
@ 3:02 PM
When I should be feeling overwhelming guilt and hatred towards myself for doing something horrible behind your back.
What is this telling me? Do I not care about you anymore? Have I ever cared about you at all? Have I been lying to myself, and to you?
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@ 1:32 PM
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@ 1:31 PM
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@ 1:30 PM
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@ 1:28 PM
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@ 1:27 PM
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@ 11:41 AM
So no matter what you've been through, no matter what you're into, no matter what you see when you look outside your window, brown grass or green grass, picket fence or barbed wire; never ever put them down. You just lift your arms higher, raise em till’ your arms are tired. Let em’ know you’re there.That you're struggling and surviving, that you're gonna persevere. — Lupe Fiasco
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Alone
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
@ 9:45 PM
I feel like I can't rant about my feelings to anyone because I'm afraid that they won't care. It's like being surrounded by people but you're unable to find not even one person to talk to. I can open up to just about anyone if they're willing to listen. When I'm in need, no one comes to the rescue. And it's partially my fault because I don't ask for help. I wait for it. And when everyone else needs help, they come to me, expecting something out of me, like I can do something. The best I can do is comfort you. But I can't solve your problems for you. I've got some of my own.
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@ 9:43 PM
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Nobody notices what I do until I don't do it.
@ 9:41 PM
So start appreciating what I do for you, before I stop doing it for your ungrateful ass.
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@ 9:41 PM
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@ 9:39 PM
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@ 9:39 PM
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@ 9:38 PM
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Delete my blog?
@ 9:36 PM
I don't think anyone really reads this anymore, and I have nothing to write about most of the time so I have to dig things out of my head and that's a lot of work.
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Who Is
@ 7:20 PM
I gave it up, but I guess it was not enough Cause she never seemed satisfied I know I'm not perfect But at the end of the day, who is?
She set the bar
Just above the stars
A rocket couldn't reach it
But I still kept on reaching
She watched me try
At least a thousand times
If she loved me, she'd stop me
But no
Labels: song
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I keep things to myself.
@ 12:33 AM
But all you have to do is ask and I’d tell you anything you want to know.
That’s just how I work. I guess that’s what you have over me.
vintagedolls
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@ 12:15 AM
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@ 12:14 AM
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@ 12:14 AM
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Friday, December 3, 2010
@ 7:55 PM
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@ 7:16 PM
Myung is so pretty. Really, don't let anyone tell her different or even let Myung berate herself. Aw.
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@ 6:13 PM
"Stop eating everything in the house, damn it."
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Hm.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
@ 11:34 PM
I'd like to thank you for being kind to me today. Even after I treated you like shit because I hate(d) your guts. I thought it would be awkward to face you one on one again but it wasn't.
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The feelings will always be there even when you try to push them aside.
@ 6:54 PM
They say you never let go of the one you truly love. Not because you don't want to, but because your heart won't let you. Even if you try to forget the memories you've shared, the love you received and gave, and all the shit you guys went through together, it'll be impossible to forget those intense feelings. Their voice. The way they knew you better than anyone else. The butterflies you had when they said, "I love you". Their simple but sincere "Good morning" and "Good night" texts. The way your heart broke after a fight. That overwhelming urge to do anything just to talk to them one last time before you fall asleep. Their smile, their laugh. Your heart won't forget them. You'll miss all the things you disliked about that person. When your heart finds true love, it attaches itself on to them. So when they're upset, you're upset. When they're happy, you're happy. It's like your mood changes depending on how they feel. Your heart beats whenever you see them and your mind will be filled only with the thoughts of the person you love. You can never really forget the person you once loved, because once you think you're over them, those feelings you thought were long lost will come rushing back to you. Labels: random
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I miss you so much.
@ 6:01 PM
This hurts.
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Wednesday, December 1, 2010
@ 11:02 PM
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Worst feeling:
@ 9:10 PM
Losing someone you thought you had, but you never did.
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@ 7:56 PM
I think my desktop looks pretty damn organized/spiffy.
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♥
@ 5:50 PM
I have only one person I can rely on. I have one true best friend.
Several years ago, I would've never thought me and her would become best friends. We basically hated each other when we were younger.
I can tell this girl anything without being afraid of getting judged or criticized. I can trust her completely and she's just one person I can be myself with.
Me: Riiiiiiiiight.
I'm starting to get tired of everyone's bull crap.
In our school.
Really.
Friend: oh. good. i thought i must be the only one who thought that or something
Me: I'm still friends with them because spending time with them is fun sometimes. Although I might not be a priority to them, just an option.
Friend: wow! yeah i feel the same way. and its really kind of depressing. specially for me. and i always imagined that i would find someone who would be my absolute best friend rightwaway and its just kinda sad that it took me so long to find you. :)
CUTEST THING A FRIEND HAS EVER SAID TO ME.
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So let me talk about my day
@ 5:02 PM
Stayed home from school. My head hurts and I feel dizzy.
Yeah, that's about it.
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I have a very low tolerance span for bullshit, so I'll most likely overlook your (moronic) two cents if they are made. I'm not here to explain my thoughts or opinion to anyone. We can agree to disagree. You don't have to like how I blog or view things,
for it was never meant for you in the first place. I'm not forcing you to read any of my entries and you are definitely not obligated to follow me.