Thursday, April 29, 2010 @ 8:46 PM

"Stupid fucking guys. They're all douche bags. Fuck them, let's just go lesbian."

HAHAHA.

@ 8:41 PM

LOL?
THE FUCK?
/end

Think whatever you want to think. Blame all this shit on me why don't you. I'm done as well.

@ 1:08 AM

Is it too late?

@ 1:02 AM

You told me to stop looking (for someone to love).
I don't know how to stop.

@ 1:01 AM

@ 12:59 AM

@ 12:57 AM


^ This made me smile, I know I'm lame.

@ 12:56 AM

@ 12:56 AM

@ 12:53 AM

@ 12:52 AM

@ 12:51 AM

@ 12:50 AM

@ 12:47 AM

I just told him that I liked someone.
He will never know that someone, is him.

@ 12:45 AM

It's time like these where I really wish I still had you.

@ 12:44 AM

@ 12:44 AM

@ 12:43 AM

@ 12:40 AM

Today I found out I'm not blunt as most people think I am.
I do a lot of things just to spare people's feelings.
I lie, I do things to make them happy even though I don't want to do it, I make excuses, and etc.

K, I don't know who I am anymore.

@ 12:38 AM

@ 12:34 AM

Hi.
I'm not going to wait for you.

@ 12:32 AM

Why can't I bring myself to like you?
I want to grow feelings for you so bad. But whenever I try, my heart just goes into a totally different direction.

Uh
@ 12:26 AM

Is it okay to feel this empty? To feel this blank?
I seriously have no desire to do anything. I don't feel like doing anything. I don't want anything, I don't want anyone. I'm not happy, not sad. No emotion. What the fuck.

@ 12:24 AM

Everything is going down hill.

@ 12:05 AM

I know you hate my mother fucking guts. You'll probably never speak to me ever again, and if you do, you probably won't tell me much. You lost all respect for me, I know.

I just hope you're happy.

Even though, in my opinion, I didn't do much, you probably hate me to fucking death for something I didn't do. Cause this happened. Cause he felt that way, and I had no control over it but to say 'no'.

Why did this seriously fucking happen to me, I became that girl I never wanted to be.
I was in the same position as you, once.
I really despised that girl who stole that boy's heart.
Even though she was the nicest thing on Earth; she was absolutely harmless.
Yet, I still despised her.

So jsyk, I don't blame you for hating me.

@ 12:03 AM

As creepy as this may sound, I still get butterflies each time I sign into my tinypic album and look at your picture. On accident, of course!

@ 12:01 AM

I'm a realist
I'm a romantic
I'm an indecisive piece of shit.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010 @ 11:59 PM

@ 11:57 PM

n_n
/phew.

@ 11:26 PM

[Mal] Retard- says:
*Myu
*You know you can talk to me about anything.. I don't judge.
*You're like
*idk
*I feel close to you even though you're a baby lol
*You're a good friend
*I'll always be here to help you through anything <3
[Mal] Retard- says:
*LOL
*Myu I love you kay? If the world is against you I got your back and I'll ALWAYS have your back.
*Always until the end of forever.

Ah, I'm glad I have someone like this by my side.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010 @ 2:32 AM

ALPHA
KENNY
BODY

Read it fast multiple times.

@ 1:19 AM

I kind of miss having someone to miss. I miss having someone to worry about.

@ 1:15 AM

Hell yeah picture spam. Going to sleep, it's 1:15 A.M. Good night.

@ 1:15 AM

@ 1:03 AM

@ 12:59 AM

@ 12:57 AM

@ 12:57 AM

@ 12:52 AM

@ 12:49 AM

@ 12:47 AM

@ 12:47 AM

@ 12:47 AM

@ 12:45 AM

@ 12:43 AM

@ 12:34 AM

What hurts the most..
was being so close.

@ 12:22 AM

Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great.

You know,
Monday, April 26, 2010 @ 10:41 PM

the only thing that's holding me back from saying yes to you is our past.

You have a bad past, I have a bad past. We both have memories we will never forget, even though we would be much better off without remembering them.

You have someone you will never forget. You can tell me a million times that you're over her, but I know you never will be. That's just how you are. I know you. I know you won't tell me that you miss her or that you still think about her, just to spare my feelings, because you're nice like that.

I have a bad past. Bad memories. Stuff that created a huge impact on how I see things. I see things differently now, and I don't like it.

I don't want to be used. I don't want to be someone you date so you can try and get over her. No, I'm not going to tolerate that shit. I don't want to be lied to, ever. I don't want to even hear white lies. I'm afraid that I won't be good enough for you. I'm really not as great as you think I am. I'm afraid you won't be able to get over her when you're with me. I don't want to fuck anything up with you. Really, I don't.

If we get together now, I probably won't show much affection. I'm just not ready to 'love' anyone yet, if that makes sense. I just want some time to settle down. You're sensitive so you'll probably get offended if I don't show you that I don't love you and etc. I don't want to hurt you.

I'm asking you to wait for me, until I'm ready. Until I can trust you to not lie or use me.

Right now, there's just too much shit going on, for both me and you. I don't think we'll do well if we get together now. Don't you think so?

@ 10:38 PM

God damn it, people are so fucking annoying.
I'm so fucking irritated.

@ 10:36 PM

@ 10:35 PM

@ 10:34 PM

@ 10:32 PM

I don't like getting on the computer because some things are better left unseen. Seriously. The smallest shit gets me so depressed. I don't like staying off the computer because when I don't go out, I get bored as hell, and when I'm bored, I feel like I'm going to die. LOL I'm not even kidding.

@ 10:32 PM

@ 8:03 PM

I'm waiting for someone to completely steal my heart. I don't want to hand people my heart anymore. Because it'll be my fault, my loss, when it gets broken.

@ 6:24 PM

So, a few weeks ago, during lunch, I saw that a guy was crying. I was curious so I asked his gf's friend what was wrong with him. It turns out that he was crying out of anger? Or to just get his girl friend's attention. Why? He was angry because his gf had to work with a guy for a in-class project and apparently, he's extremely insecure. Yeah okay, like the girl had a fucking choice who she could work with in a class project when the teacher assigned groups. And even if the teacher didn't assign them, what's so bad about working in the same group with a guy? Holy shit, that's low. Insane insecure people these days.

Sunday, April 25, 2010 @ 10:30 PM

I feel amazing when I log into MSN, and 5+ people start to IM me.
I also feel amazing when I don't check my phone for 5 minutes and I received like 10+ texts. It makes me happy.

@ 10:30 PM

@ 10:29 PM

@ 10:27 PM

@ 10:27 PM

Dude.
Dude. I just fucking drank like 4 cans of Sunkist, NOT DIET, in fucking 2 hours.
Holy shit I'm hyper as fuck.

@ 10:26 PM

Ah mah gawd.

@ 5:47 PM

You know, he isn't a bad guy after all. He left you in the worst possible way, just so you won't look back..because he thinks you'll be much better without him.

@ 4:34 PM

I don't have the time to look through shit and find good pictures to post right now. I don't feel anything nor am I thinking much lately so I really don't have much to post. (Which means I'm happy.) I'm sure something will come by soon though. Then I'll be able to rant and shit. Anyways as most of you may already know, I'm grounded, again. This time it's serious business. My mom has seriously gone insane. I'm fine with it although she took away everything besides my phone. I don't need the damn computer to live and I'm actually doing fine without it. Sure, I may get a little bored sometimes but it's all good. I'll always be available through texting so hit them digits up if you wanna talk.

I've started talking to a lot of people again. It's almost like a miracle how they all came back to me at almost the same time. I thought they would never speak to me again. I'm glad they're back, I felt so bleh without them.

@ 9:05 AM

I've moved on.

Guess what?
Saturday, April 24, 2010 @ 11:19 PM

I like someone.
But he already has someone he loves.

LOL, fml!
I'm just going to give up, seriously.
I'm hopeless. :)

@ 5:15 PM

I feel too much.
@ 5:14 PM

That's what's going on.
Do you think one can feel too much?
Or just feel in the wrong ways?
My insides don't match up with my outsides.
Do anyone's insides and outsides match up?
I don't know, I'm only me.
Maybe that's what a person's personality is:
the difference between the inside and the outside.

@ 5:02 PM

@ 5:01 PM

@ 5:00 PM

@ 7:51 AM

I swear I'll never be happy again.
We knew it would happen eventually.

@ 7:47 AM

Now I'm just sitting here, waiting for something miraculous to happen.

Friday, April 23, 2010 @ 8:31 PM

I hope you're doing well without me. You should talk to me once in awhile, even if you don't want to. I want to know how you're doing and I'm worried. You're probably avoiding me because I'm making your situation worse. You're going through some hard shit and I didn't help. I just hope you didn't kick me out of your life for good. Because I really do care about you. And I mean it.

Thursday, April 22, 2010 @ 5:57 PM

Hoping for the best,
Expecting the worst.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010 @ 5:57 PM

I want to try and take it back, but the damage is done.
@ 5:54 PM

So, last night, I was reading through my old MSN chat logs.
I regret most things I said. I looked like such a fool. If I could relive those moments, I would say and do completely different things. If I thought differently, maybe it wouldn't have ended this way.

@ 5:54 PM

@ 5:53 PM

@ 5:49 PM

"Today I saw a street called Love Lane. It was a dead end. For some reason I was the only one who got the irony. MLIA"

(via MLIA)

@ 5:49 PM

"When she texts you, it is because she misses you. When she doesn't text you, it is because she is waiting for you to miss her."

@ 5:46 PM

@ 5:45 PM

Trust is a fragile thing. Once earned, it affords us tremendous freedom. But once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we’re closest can betray us, and total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned.

@ 5:45 PM

@ 5:41 PM

I want to feel loved again.
I want to feel that 'tingly' feeling whenever someone tells me, "I love you."
I want those butterflies back.
I want to love.

@ 5:37 PM

Tmi
@ 5:35 PM

one time i was at a party a few years ago and my friend and this girl went into a bedroom and he came in her mouth and she kept it in her mouth, ran out the room and spat it in this other girls face who she hated

it was disgusting but also quite hilarious

LOL. Oh my god. Gross, but epic.

@ 5:34 PM

Dear Jacob, I don't fucking need your help.
Monday, April 19, 2010 @ 10:20 PM

Stop acting like you know me, cause you don't. I'm perfectly fine. I'm sorry my blog is so depressing. You don't know me. Just because you read my blog doesn't mean you know everything about me. In fact, you probably don't even know half the shit about me.

Yes, I'm calling you out. You piss me off. I don't need your god damn pity. I know you're probably just trying to help, but I don't need your shit. You don't need to feel sorry for me. I don't get why you would feel that way in the first place. How many times do I have to fucking say, "I'm fine"? I'm not fucking lying. I'm telling you now, straight the fuck up and for the last time, I AM FUCKING FINE. I hate it when someone feels bad for me, especially when there's no reason to pity me at all. I can do this on my own. I'm perfectly fine; normal. I'm happy and I'm not depressed. I don't cry, I laugh. My smiles aren't fake either.

What I post on my blog right now is not exactly how I feel. I might be exaggerating shit a little bit. My posts look hella depressing, I know, but I'm not depressed, at all. I apologize if I gave you the wrong idea.

I don't need anyone right now. All I need are my friends that stick around and make me laugh. Yes, it's true that I miss someone but I'm not dying to get him back or whatever. That's whack.

So, yeah. Don't speak to me like that ever again.

Jacob Love! said:
*OKAY IM SORRY DONT DELETE YOUR BLOG
*<3

Yeah, that's right nigga.

@ 5:39 PM

@ 5:39 PM

@ 5:38 PM

@ 5:36 PM

Don't worry.
@ 5:33 PM

He’ll miss you. You’re the best he could get, and he blew it. Don’t let him make you think for one second that this was your fault. It’s not. He screwed up, and you did absolutely nothing wrong. You gave him your heart, and you trusted him to keep it and protect it, but he couldn’t. And honestly, he’s not mature enough. He’s not smart enough. If he was smart, he would have cared for you with every fiber of his being and been with you every spare second he could. But he didn’t, and now he’s gone. But don’t you cry. Don’t call him telling him you miss him. Don’t IM him, don’t message him, don’t comment him, don’t talk to him in the hallways. Just pretend you don’t care. And don’t be surprised when he comes crawling back saying he made a mistake. And if you want to go, go with him again. But make him work for you. Don’t be his doormat. Don’t let him in the first time he rings the bell. Make him come back every day until you trust him enough. If he doesn’t come back after a couple of tries, just let him go. But if he comes back every day, then he’s worth it. Trust me .. he’s worth it.

@ 5:28 PM