@ 11:41 PM

Don't you see that I need you?

My life is so incredibly empty without you. These walls keep building up, these emotions keep piling on top of one another. My deadly thoughts are going to eat me alive, I need you to free me from them. Distract me. Captivate me.

This post isn't even directed to anyone, I feel needy.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012 @ 4:39 PM

When I look back, it was the people I cared about most deeply that ended up hurting me the most. It makes me wonder, though. Is it really because they gave me greater scars? Or did I inflict the pain upon myself by naively expecting that they, of all people, wouldn’t ever be bad to me?

— Tablo

@ 3:32 PM

And I am stuck here wondering what it feels to receive the love and attention you've been seeking for. To be at ease with your mind and heart because you know the love that is being poured onto you is eternal. You know the person you not only desire, but possibly even need, will hold on to you for as long as you wish. I want to experience the feeling of completeness, the feeling of being completed by another being. When one devotes their precious time to brighten up your dull heart and gives a thousand efforts to create a smile on your darkened countenance, I wish to understand how that feels like. I wonder most of all, how it feels to be relieved of all the doubts that cloud up the mind. To be able to find a single individual that has proved themselves to be trustworthy, making the prolonged search worth the time and pain. My longing for an individual to fulfill these desires with me will most likely lead to immeasurable disappointment, but my heart will forever seek. It will seek for love that is mutual, equal, and sincere.

Monday, April 23, 2012 @ 11:23 PM

I'm seeking for someone that will put in the effort to make a relationship thrive.

So far, no one.

It only makes you look pathetic.
@ 12:19 AM

Expressing emotions dealing with pain and sadness shows that you're weak. Showing that you're thinking of someone that wouldn't even bat an eye at you shows that you're pitiful.

Sunday, April 22, 2012 @ 5:38 AM

' myu meow says:
*well how to be happy when you're placed in a situation where you can't or shouldn't be
Jason says:
*fix the situation
*i'll go shoot him right now
*where he at
*like foreals
' myu meow says:
*LOL

@ 1:22 AM

I have to let these tears fall to ease this pain don't I. This is what I have to end up doing.

I really didn't want to.

Saturday, April 21, 2012 @ 11:21 PM

"I understand how you feel with his actions towards other girls with full intent, but again - focus on yourself. What he does with other people is his business, it’s out of your hands. How do you expect to help other people when you can hardly alleviate your own pain? Get better, Myu. You cannot do the thinking for everyone, you can’t do everything for everyone. Help yourself on the path of getting better and healing. You will rise from this as long as you take it one day at a time. Stop thinking ahead, think about now. The pain, the anger, they will subside if you don’t give them attention, if you don’t magnify their insignificance. Imagine putting those feelings in a box, as cliche as it sounds, put them away. You’ve faced it, but you’re abusing it by over analyzing it. Put it away.

I know you’re strong enough to lift yourself up. You don’t need anything or anyone to feel safe or less alone or righteous.

At this point, it doesn’t matter whose fault it was, it’s done.
Hold your head high and look forward."

@ 12:40 AM

"In turn, you have to forgive him. For your sake."

@ 12:31 AM

All I hear is the exact opposite of what I want to hear.

I want to hear that he’s doing terrible. That he lost a grip on life. That he’s gone insane ever since he left. I want to hear that he’s unable to even force a smile on his face. I want to hear that the guilt is eating him alive, that he feels so terribly fucking sorry and regrets all that he’s done to me. I want to hear that he’d give anything, that he’d sacrifice his life to be forgiven. I want to hear that everything has gone down hill since my presence has disappeared from his life. I want to hear that he’s mourning, he’s crying. I want to see him suffer for what he’s done, I want to hear that he’s begging for my forgiveness and resents himself for his actions. I want to hear that he’s fucking sorry.

@ 12:10 AM

Here comes the feeling of immense fucking hatred towards you that I thought I had finally gotten rid of.

Friday, April 20, 2012 @ 8:49 PM

Somebody loves you if they call you out on your bullshit. They’re not passive, they don’t just let you get away with murder. They know you well enough and care about you enough to ask you to chill out, to bust your balls, to tell you to stop. They aren’t passive observers in your life, they are in the trenches. They have an opinion about your decisions and the things you say and do. They want to be a part of it; they want to be a part of you.

Thursday, April 19, 2012 @ 11:00 PM

The only one you need in your life is that person who shows you he needs you in his.

@ 10:55 PM

I'd just like someone to listen and discuss my own issues with me, for once. No harsh criticism, no critical judgment. Just listen and feed me hope.

I know I have hope. I just want someone to tell me that I can do it. I know this will pass. I want more certainty. I'm in need of some kind of assurance. I want someone to believe in me, because right now I feel as if I have no one to pick me up.

@ 12:51 PM

Losing hope in humanity each and every day. Gradually losing hope in ever finding the "right one".

I don't understand what's so damn difficult about being faithful. Where's the challenge in being loyal and honest to the one person you CHOSE to be with? If you aren't happy with your decision, simply leave. There is no need to do things behind their back and fuck with emotions.

People will never fucking learn.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012 @ 8:39 PM

Hands down, I’m too proud for love. But when eyes shut it’s you I’m thinking of.

Labels: irrelevant but i like the quote itself so

Saturday, April 14, 2012 @ 12:48 PM

I'm fine until the sun sets. Those short moments right before I shut my eyes is when my mind grows restless. When I'm laying in bed alone with not a single person to wish good night to, is when I truly feel alone.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012 @ 12:12 PM

It's not you who I've been missing whenever we would break up, or even now. It's the feelings. The idea of a "perfect relationship" has been stuck onto me which made me determined to make whatever work for us. It's not you who I really fell in love with, no, it was the general idea of a relationship that I loved. Those intense emotions, a daring roller coaster ride. The passion of love and feeling like you "cannot live" without the significant other when you clearly can. The feeling of addiction to another human being. 

I loved the relationship itself more than you. This explains why I've tried to make the impossible, possible. Why I couldn't ever give up despite the solid concrete wall that laid right before my eyes indicating a dead end.

@ 11:29 AM

I'm emotionless until about 2AM and then I get sad about everything.

Saturday, April 7, 2012 @ 12:27 PM

My dreams consist of vast darkness.

I never dream anymore. I don't feel very much anymore.

I just close my eyes for a few hours and wake up. There are no longer adventures during the night that woke me up with a smile.

@ 11:28 AM

When you and your old best friend drift so far apart that it's extremely difficult to ever "catch up". Too much changed. There's way too much that has happened during the time you two were apart to actually explain in detail of what you went through.

So you don't say anything at all.

@ 1:19 AM

.nat (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ.・ﾟ*｡・.・ﾟ*｡・ヽ♥ says:

*y can’t any1 love me

*LOL

’ myu ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ says:

*..

*IKR

*WHAT AM I DOING WRONG

*LOL

Friday, April 6, 2012 @ 7:46 PM

I miss being addicted to someone.

I miss knowing that my entire day could be turned right side up the second I speak to a specific person. I miss wanting to try. To try. To put in effort. To work towards a goal in order to accomplish something great. To build a masterpiece with my other half, the type of work that others would envy.

I miss the feeling of invincibility. I felt as if I were able to achieve anything, as long as I had that specific person by me. I felt invulnerable. I was genuinely happy although the relationship might not have been as real as I wanted it to be. I miss looking forward to certain dates. I miss how I was so greatly impacted by the little things. I miss smiling at short phrases he would utter. I miss being certain of my feelings. I miss being with someone I could trust my life with.

Now I'm left feeling empty. Emotionless. Nothing truly brings me happiness anymore.

@ 10:56 AM

I am beyond pathetic. I lose myself in love, lean myself on it and shape my life around it. When it all falls apart, a part of me dies and this damage is permanent; it goes on forever.

@ 10:41 AM

Don't leave me alone with my thoughts.

Thursday, April 5, 2012 @ 5:04 PM

And I wonder if I'll ever be given a chance to be blessed with the opportunity to be loved.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 @ 11:05 PM

I can't say that I've reached contentment but I do feel a bit better. I'm making progress.

@ 2:44 AM

I now know why you couldn't say the word forever. Why you were often so apologetic.

You pitied me because you didn't feel the way I did.

@ 1:42 AM

Look at me. Look into the center of my heart, beyond what I physically possess. Will you be able to love me even then? Will you be able to love me as myself, your decision uninfluenced by my talents or possessions?

Monday, April 2, 2012 @ 12:34 AM

Is it really possible to genuinely be attracted to someone while being fully aware of their past and flaws?

@ 12:03 AM

I've always possessed this mentality of a love-centered romantic. I thought falling in love, and by that I mean, deeply falling in love with a person you unexpectedly run into would be practical; common. I thought falling in love was an easy task, that anyone could accomplish it whenever they wanted to. I thought love could be obtained instantaneously as long as it's sparked.

I was wrong.

I was way wrong.

Falling in love with the right person is the most difficult thing anyone can achieve. Some never reach their expected outcome. Those who find their soul mates are unbelievably lucky. Could fate play a role in finding love? Could one be fated to be alone? Could one be destined to suffer without ever getting a taste of true love?

Sunday, April 1, 2012 @ 10:13 AM

How long is it going to take to be able to look at you in the eyes and not feel a damn thing?

@ 4:42 AM

Way too depressed for it to be 4:42 AM.