@ 7:22 PM

Fine, but unhappy.

Friday, June 22, 2012 @ 6:04 AM

For the longest time I've been searching for someone to save me, lift me up from the ground, free me from these issues that chain me down, only to realize that I'm my own savior. I can only help myself. No one can save me.

@ 5:33 AM

No one to talk to about my biggest problem.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012 @ 6:22 PM

We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.

Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story

Tuesday, June 19, 2012 @ 7:45 PM

Everytime I feel as if I'm finally reaching that point where I forget you completely, you never fucking fail to haunt me even in my dreams. Constantly reappearing whenever I'm "okay". Leave me alone.

Thursday, June 14, 2012 @ 8:29 AM

First day in Korea has been good to me. So much walking though.

Sunday, June 10, 2012 @ 10:36 PM

Falling in love seemed so easy back then. Now my eyes are open and I've realized that I've never experienced love, and it doesn't come around very often.

Sometimes never.

@ 10:34 PM

Why am I still complaining about being alone when I'm choosing to be single?

Being independent is a choice, yet why am I constantly wanting to be in love with someone?

Saturday, June 9, 2012 @ 9:06 AM

All of that was only an act. Nothing was real. You weren't real. We weren't real.

Friday, June 8, 2012 @ 4:31 PM

No one gives a fuck if it hasn't happened or isn't happening to them.

I'm in need of some sort of remedy.
Thursday, June 7, 2012 @ 3:54 PM

I am in denial, it’s true.

I don’t want to believe it.

I care. I thought I had forgotten you for good, well, I was just about there. I was so close. A few more steps and I would’ve reached my goal.

But I am reminded of you all over again. Everything I’ve built up so far crumbled into pieces; my heart suddenly collapsed. It feels so weak now.

You are nothing to me. I constantly repeat those words whenever thoughts of you would slide pass my mind as I let out a loud sigh. I always let out the loudest sighs when I’m forced to think of you because I feel so immensely suffocated. I just want to be left alone. Everyone says that I’m choosing to suffer by thinking of you, that I have a choice and I’m not helpless. I may not be but I sure feel like I am, I feel powerless to my thoughts and most of all, hatred towards you. I wish to feel indifferent towards anything relating to you so I’m no longer affected by your presence, but it’s never that easy.

@ 11:14 AM

Fuck you, fuck you very very much.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012 @ 9:00 PM

Summer has officially begun. Let's do this.

@ 8:56 PM

When did I start becoming so afraid?

Fear is growing within me; overcoming, dominating my actions and thoughts. I'm becoming increasingly more conservative. I'm being reluctant to make decisions: hesitant to make the first move, the first step towards a life changing decision.

What have I got to lose? Am I really that afraid of failure? Getting wounded again?

Monday, June 4, 2012 @ 6:41 PM

While I can’t have you, I long for you. I am the kind of person who would miss a train or a plane to meet you for coffee. I’d take a taxi across town to see you for ten minutes. I’d wait outside all night if I thought you would open the door in the morning. If you call me and say ‘Will you…’ my answer is ‘Yes’, before your sentence is out. I spin worlds where we could be together. I dream you.

— Jeanette Winterson

Saturday, June 2, 2012 @ 1:51 AM

I only write in here when I have no one to discuss my complex thoughts and emotions with.

Lately the number of drafts on here have been growing because it's getting increasingly difficult to find people that I can communicate with. All I desire is someone who will listen to my deep thoughts, no matter how depressing or obnoxious it may be, and I will simply return the favor.