I love you.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010 @ 10:10 PM

October 12, 2010 (10:10 PM): Yes, you. You adorable, lovable, and wonderful boy. Thank you for all the butterflies, thank you for making me smile everyday. And thank you for trying, you don't know how much that means to me.

Lately, we haven't been talking as much as we used to.. And the sad part is, there's nothing we can do about it. We went from talking every second of the day to just a few hours. I miss you a lot when you're gone. At first, I was afraid and worried that something might happen between us, I thought I was never going to get used to it. I realized that worrying about it and stressing over it isn't going to do any good. It isn't going to change anything. Just like crying, I wasn't going to get what I want by keep thinking about it. I was only hurting myself.

I miss your voice. I can't wait until the day I hear your voice again. I miss our late night conversations. I hate laying down in bed at night texting someone that's not you. I want to say good night to you before I actually sleep. I want to say good morning as soon as I wake up. I want to tell you that I love you as many times as I can, but I can't do that.

Five months.. This the longest and best relationship I've ever had. I don't planning on losing you, I can't imagine my life without you. You've become a part of me, whenever I think of myself, I think of you. When I think about my future, I see you in it.

I know I suck at expressing my love to you. It's not that I can't show it, I don't want to. I'm reluctant to do it because I'm scared I'll go too far. I guess I'm trying not to make the same mistakes I made before. Just know that I really do love you. I hope this clears some of the misunderstandings you might have: I'll never get tired of you, I'll never stop loving you and I won't leave you. I'm always scared that you'll be the one getting tired of me.

We've been together for five whole months. That's how long you've been dealing with all my emotional bull crap, my complaining, whining, my horrible stories, and my stupid and weird comments. And that's how long I've been in love with you.