Why people accuse themselves.
Saturday, July 28, 2012 @ 7:10 AM

What are you supposed to do when there's absolutely nothing or no one to blame for your aching heart? Turns out the one person that gave you the only feeling of certainty you've felt in years, the person who was your entire world, loves someone else. They blatantly tell you the truth, and damn, the truth hurts. You want nothing more than to curse them. Make them feel the lowest for making you feel worthless. But even bullies from your elementary school can tell you that degrading others in hopes of relief is no use. You so badly wish to blame them for everything: wasting years of your time, hurting you, leaving cuts and eternal scars onto your weak heart that's barely beating now. For embedding memories into your mind that will be cherished by you yet so competently discarded by him. You can't blame him for not being able to do something he can't do.. You can't blame anyone for not being able to fall in love with you, just how you aren't choosing to be in love with him despite the situation you're in. 

You begin to turn these accusations towards yourself. Questions arise and you can't help but answer them yourself. 

Am I to be held accountable for this? Did I cause this mess myself?

He fell out of love because of me.

Because of me. I did all of this.

You sound pathetic, you're mindful of this, yet no one else has the answers to your unending questions. Not him, not you. And when there's silence in the midst of you crying out for help, it's like you've got no choice but to turn things against yourself.