I'm lying to myself.
Monday, December 13, 2010 @ 8:26 PM

I give myself false hope and expectations that never match up to reality. I assume too quickly. My brain sugar coats things and makes things seem better than they actually are. I create problems and worries for myself by over analyzing just about everything that comes and goes in my mind. I think too much about the smallest, most useless, and insignificant actions and details. I make them seem worse and bigger, causing a dramatic distraction to myself and others. I always worry about what could be, and what I wish would happen, but I never put anything into action because I'm afraid of failure. I tell myself that things will work and I try to believe in the tiniest bit of hope even though something inside tells me that it won't. I can't make something out of nothing. I'm living in this fantasy world, created by years and years of day dreaming where everything good really does happen.

Labels: I feel weird today