I am nothing.
Friday, August 27, 2010 @ 5:20 PM

Compared to everyone else, I feel like I am no one. No one important; I feel as if I am nothing.

I don't feel important, I don't feel like anyone needs me. They just see me there, and if I disappear, I would be easily replaced. Yeah that's it, I feel replaceable. I wish I was one of a kind, I truly try to be, I try to be irreplaceable, but I guess that's impossible for someone like me. I wish people couldn't do certain things the same if I weren't around. But they can. They can do whatever they want, with or without me. I feel like I'm just there. I'm useless and meaningless.

I don't have a big 'posse' or a boyfriend that is always there for me after school to pick me up from the parking lot. I don't have a best best best friend that I would die without and I don't have anyone that I could hang out with everyday even if I weren't doing anything fun or special. I don't have that one special person that will always stick by my side, even if I look like shit that day or everyone decides to hate on me.

I can't really BE "MYSELF" with anyone. It's not the fact that I can't easily open up to people; they just don't look like they care so I don't try. I feel like my relationship with my friends are getting weaker and weaker. It's fading away.

I have a lot of people around me, yet I feel so alone because no one is really that close. They're just there.

Books, blogs, web pages, articles, and even people have told me that I'm not the only one that feels like this. Everyone feels lonely, and everyone wants more close friends. But the more I look at the people around me, at my school or where ever, I feel like I am truly alone. It seems to me everyone has found at least one person to be themselves with and spend time with everyday. Sadly, I haven't.