I DIDN’T leave you in the dust. -.- I NEVER would. I NEVER did. I NEVER will.

What was I thinking while I was gone for two days? I was thinking about you, nonstop. Even though I was with my friends, I still DID NOT stop thinking about you for one second. Of course I considered your feelings, I always do. Why do you think when I finally got home, the first thing I did was turn on my laptop and get on MSN? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I really am. That hurt you, but okay. This is most likely the only time I ever did maybe hurt you. It’s not like I didn’t learn from it, I told you what I was doing the next day in the conversation, even though you did say you didn’t care. Yes, this is my fault, but you’re acting like I didn’t tell you how much I missed you after I finally did get on MSN.

Kristy, I fell for you on the 20th of April. I manned up and asked you to be mine on the 12th of May. We broke up two weeks after because of some stupid shit, which is why I didn’t ever fucking give up. I even tried to replace you, but it didn’t work out, because I figured out that I still wasn’t willing to. I’m glad I never did stop trying, because on the 7th of July, we were together again. Anyways, I mentioned all of this because .. that time from April 20th - July 12th, the day you decided to leave me, I never fucking .. left you, mentally anyways. I honestly can’t believe you’d throw all those days away for two days that I fucked up on. That really fucking hurts.

Since we’re talking about things that hurts, let’s go ahead and talk about other shit that hurt me REALLY bad worth mentioning, shall we?

1. That day, when I finally asked you to be mine and MEANT it .. on the 12th of May, you didn’t even remember it and then even asked me what was it? What the fuck. You could’ve at least gone back in our conversations and try to figure it out. I don’t know about you, but I find myself reading our old conversations plenty of times. 2. That long period of time while we weren’t together, you accidentally said BYE ALAN< 3. After we broke up, for a month and a two weeks, I thought you moved on. I thought you didn’t care anymore. I thought I was nothing to you now. You’ve pushed me away all the time and you tell me it’s to make sure I care? Yeah, I was on cloud nine when I did find out you still liked me, but to have a girl on my mind for a month and two weeks thinking that the girl doesn’t give a shit about you, really fucking hurt. That whole time, I tried hard not to pretend nothing was wrong. 4. “It’s over. It’s over.” “It lasted a good two days.” “It’s what you prefer.” “What’s there to be serious about?” <— When you were apparently ‘kidding’ to break up with me. Babe, I know I kid around too much, but at least you always know when I’m kidding. I honestly thought you weren’t kidding at this point and every single thing you typed were hitting me like knives to the heart. Breaking up with somebody isn’t something anybody should kid around with and you made it sound so fucking real.

Anyways, you sounded like nothing was even wrong with you at first, then all of a sudden, bam. Actually, it doesn’t even make sense now, which only gives me one conclusion: someone in your back pocket, which is why I’m finally willing to give up, let you go and stop trying so damn hard.

I really did love you. You were really important to me. Just saying.

Just thought I’d let people know how I felt for once.