You know,
Monday, April 26, 2010 @ 10:41 PM

the only thing that's holding me back from saying yes to you is our past.

You have a bad past, I have a bad past. We both have memories we will never forget, even though we would be much better off without remembering them.

You have someone you will never forget. You can tell me a million times that you're over her, but I know you never will be. That's just how you are. I know you. I know you won't tell me that you miss her or that you still think about her, just to spare my feelings, because you're nice like that.

I have a bad past. Bad memories. Stuff that created a huge impact on how I see things. I see things differently now, and I don't like it.

I don't want to be used. I don't want to be someone you date so you can try and get over her. No, I'm not going to tolerate that shit. I don't want to be lied to, ever. I don't want to even hear white lies. I'm afraid that I won't be good enough for you. I'm really not as great as you think I am. I'm afraid you won't be able to get over her when you're with me. I don't want to fuck anything up with you. Really, I don't.

If we get together now, I probably won't show much affection. I'm just not ready to 'love' anyone yet, if that makes sense. I just want some time to settle down. You're sensitive so you'll probably get offended if I don't show you that I don't love you and etc. I don't want to hurt you.

I'm asking you to wait for me, until I'm ready. Until I can trust you to not lie or use me.

Right now, there's just too much shit going on, for both me and you. I don't think we'll do well if we get together now. Don't you think so?