There's a lot of insecure people
Wednesday, March 3, 2010 @ 5:25 PM

"The problem is he makes more friends with females. He never really talks about his friendships and I know that they don't see him much as we are always together - they seem to be the ones to call him and send him emails.

He doesn't seem too bothered about being in touch with them but it bothers me. I feel insecure about it and it makes me behave funny. I have questioned him about them and he is always open but why do I still get these funny feelings?"

"I recently found out that my boyfriend of almost 2 years has been talking to this girl who lives out of town quite a bit and I have gotten a funny feeling about it because she calls him sometimes at odd hours. He assures me she is nothing but a friend and I have not seen anything that would REALLY suggest otherwise, though there is a feeling that i cannot shake that something is wrong. I feel like our relationship is somehow different. I can't put my finger on it. I went on his phone and looked at the #'s coming in and he found out and this is causing serious tension between us because he feels I don't trust him...I just feel extremely jealous. He even wants time out because he feels I have become obsessed w/ this notion. I think I am ...I don't know what to do. I am so depressed because of this and my heart physically hurts because I feel like I'll lose him."

"Me and my boyfriend have been together for two years, we've gone through a lot. Though I made a mistake in cheating on him and he forgave me, but he's broken up with me almost three times, that he wants to take a break,but we always get back together,and he says he doesn't mean it, he was just mad. He says he wont do it again, and will never leave me, that he loves me and wants to be with me his whole life by marrying me. I know I should just calm down but I can't, everyday i'm paranoid that he will leave me, and I'll loose him. When I feel insecure he tells me he won't leave me, but i don't want to feel this way anymore."

"I have been with my bf for a yr and he constantly nags me, about where I am at, what guys I have spoken to or spoke to me. I am not allowed to have guy friends or their numbers, not even on face book, but he speaks to no other girls and does not hang with girls as well. He is too overprotective and I tell him to back off, says he will but he doesn't. He is too controlling he does not like me to go certain places and i don't mean clubs just simple things like a certain lounge. What should I do he does not get the point that he is overbearing? No he has no reasons not to trust me I do not have any guys numbers..I am very faithful. He's just insecure."

"I have a boyfriend that Ive been with for over a year now. He always flips out on me if any guys call my cellphone, even if Ive never met the guys in my entire life or if I don't even talk to them. For example, I went to school with these two guys all through elementary school and middle school and I have never been more then friends with these two guys. Well I don't ever talk to these two guys anymore and I haven't for over two years now. I chose not to talk to one of the guys because he ended up being a HUGE stalker. Well a few days ago these two guys call my cellphone and they leave me a voice mail. Well I was with my boyfriend at the time and he heard and saw that I had a voice mail from them. He freaked out on me and started yelling and cussing at me saying that it was my fault that they called me..as if I can control what people do. I explained to him that I don't even talk to them anymore, but he didn't care. He continued to blame everything on me. Well my boyfriend grabbed my phone when I didn't see and he called both guys and told them that if they called me again he was going to beat them both up. Well the next night the two guys called my boyfriends phone telling him that they were going to meet him at the high school we go to and fight him. Well my boyfriend called my phone and started yelling and cussing at me again telling me it was all my fault. The next day he was calling me a liar accusing me of still talking to the two guys. Well we got in a big fight and I ended up getting upset. Well he didn't apologize to me until I started to cry. I have no idea why he does this..I don't know if it is because he is insecure about our relationship, if he is over protective, or if the reason he freaks out is because he has a guilty conscious. Please help!"

"ok, i admit it , i am POSSESSIVE ! i trust him i really do .. but i hate it when girls looks at him.. its driving me crazy. He doesn't even notice them but i do. i have to say that im happy he doesn't .. he's just that kind of guy i guess :) my ex boyfriend left me for his best friend (girl) (( OUCH ! ) since then it was really hard for me to trust people but him it is completly different ! i trust him but i still can't help but to be scared that he will leave me. (p.s i do not have a low self-esteem) it's stressing me out .. but not because of the thought of him leaving me but the fact that i can't get this thought out of my head .."

"My boyfriend is too over protective. He needs to know where I am every minute of the day. Im with him everyday of the week. He gets mad if I even go somewhere with my friends or family. Im not aloud to text/talk on the phone while Im with him. He dosent like it when I wear anything new when im without him because he likes to be the first one to see it. He calls my skirts too shorts and scolds me for them (they are below my finger tips.) I dont know what to do. What can I do to make him give me a little freedom?"

"Because when a guy does that it means he truly loves and cares about you and the thought of some other guy taking you away from him angers him which throws him into protective mode... But that's normal...

I get all protective when i see a girl around my guy its just what people do :)"

"You're very precious to him and he may be insecure of himself. The fewer the risks of you leaving him, the better off he'll be."

"Many people who are insecure will usually worry about their partner doing something when they aren’t around. The insecurity isn’t usually that common when you are on a date. I usually like to know where my girlfriend is at all times, because I worry about her a lot, but I do give my girlfriend her space. Even though relationship insecurity can lead to other problems, being insecure can also strengthen a relationship, especially if the girl enjoys when her boyfriend is protective, you better make sure that she isn’t playing games so that she can watch you in action though."


Is being insecure and controlling a way people show that they love someone? Or is it an obsession?